I read an article this week on MSN.com about women and friendships. I love the articles on MSN because they are short, sweet and to the point and also very interesting. This particular article was really timely for me because I've been feeling like I don't have any "close" friends. In high school I had really close friends that I could do anything with. Now I have friends that have kids the same age as me, or neighborhood friends, or church friends, etc. and it was frustrating to me that I didn't have that one friend that was an all-around-friend. Especially after I would go home and hang out with Maria and Hannah, who I could talk about anything with and have a really good time, it was even more obvious to me that I had "lost" the art of making friends (this is really how I felt).
But I read this article which said that when women reach their late 20's and on that we need to cultivate six different types of friends and that having friends like we had in high school won't meet all of our needs because our lives are more complex from this point on. I know my life has gotten more complex since my 20's!
Six Must-Have Friends:
1. Work Friend
2. Friend In Your Kid's Class
3. The Friend Who's Known You Forever
4. The Hobby Friend
5. Straight-Talking Friend
6. Feel-Good Friend
Honestly, I felt so much better about myself after finishing the article. It's not that I'm not good at making friends but that my friends meet different needs in my life. It would be impossible to find another person exactly like me who's life was exactly like mine. If I did find someone like that they would probably be irritating anyways!
So I stopped and took an inventory of my friends and found that I have friends in almost every category and that in every aspect of my life I have made good friendships and that most of my friends are Japanese and that because of these friendships my Japanese has gotten where it is today. Lord knows that my husband hasn't been helping my Japanese along. He still looks at me with a puzzled look when I speak to him suddenly in Japanese. Sigh...
I am still surprised sometimes by the life that adults lead. I still feel like I'm 21 and shouldn't be allowed to have this much responsibility because I'll probably screw it up. But when I have these kinds of moments where I realize that "I am an adult" it is surprisingly reassuring. I'm headed in the right direction. I'm doing adult things and having adult emotions. I'm not behind my peers. Woo-hoo!
If you'd like to read the whole article, click here.