Thank the Lord for elementary school

The font needs to be bigger than this so you know how I really feel but...


Woo-hoo!!!


Emi and Misaki went back to school this morning and although today they only have classes until 10:30, it is still a wonderful feeling! Due to rainy weather, colds, ear infections and a general lack of space, the last few weeks and especially last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were almost torture, for all of us, not just me. Right now, Sakura and Natsuki are playing so quietly together that this morning feels positively heavenly.

Hooray for Back-To-School!

coffee

I'm trying to stop drinking coffee. Not alltogether, but every morning and every afternoon, which has been my habit for the last few years. Especially with babies and early morning school schedules and the likes, I always needed that morning caffeine boost to keep me going. Eventually I also added an afternoon caffeine "chaser" to help me get through those last few hours until the kids bedtimes.

A few months ago, though, we were in a hurry one morning and I didn't get my morning coffee. By the time we got to church my head was pounding and, wouldn't you know it, I had no Tylenol with me. I tried to wait until lunchtime but halfway through the service I begged Chikara to go to the vending machine and buy me a coffee. Within 10 minutes my headache was gone. Somehow, I was a little embaressed by the whole experience.

Then when we were in Canada, I was never sure if mom was making real coffee or decaf coffee so I got a few headaches then, too. The headaches made me stop and think about if the whole morning and afternoon coffee routine is really necessary anymore. Generally the kids sleep through the night. My mornings are way less rushed than they used to be. My energy levels have returned to normal since giving birth to Natsuki. Hmmm, maybe it's not necessary after all.

So, here I am, two weeks into my break from my coffee routine. I had headaches on and off the first week but now I don't feel any difference. I also don't feel tired or sluggish like I was afraid I would. Actually my biggest problem is that I don't know what *to* drink in the mornings. Tea seems like a poor substitute (sorry to all tea lovers) and water seems boring. Juice seems childish and milk is just weird tasting. A few days in a row I would get to 10am and my throat would be totally dry and I couldn't figure it out. I've been drinking water but just in the mornings it's not very appealing. This is a weird problem I didn't anticipate.

I did have coffee on Sunday afternoon with my friends and another day when a friend came to visit so now I guess I'm a social coffee drinker instead of a serial coffee drinker!

homesickness

Short of fleeing to the closest airport, whipping out your credit card and paying an enormous fee for airline ticket that would take you home RIGHT NOW, how do you handle the inevitable and sometimes unbearable feelings of homesickness?

Yes, we're going home next week but we probably won't be able to take a trip home next year due to the rising costs of the fuel surcharge and also just the fact that there is six of us! I know during the times of "no trip home in the near future" that homesickness will crash over me unbidden and then I will do what I always do. Buy a book. Yes, this is my ultimate cure for homesickness. Somehow buying a book, either a new one or a golden oldie that I love and want to pass onto my children, and sitting down to read it helps me create a little Canadian/American bubble that I can climb into and relax in for awhile. It never fails.

Also, I count my blessing. Life in Japan has gotten so much easier to live in the past seven years. There's Costco, FBC, Expat Express, Ikea, etc. We have internet access and cheap long distance rates. I created a blog and thereby made a lot of new friends who understand exactly what I'm going through. I've learned how to speak Japanese and I've made awesome Japanese friends. Well, the list goes on and on but stopping to take a moment to focus on the positives in my life make the negatives a little bit more bearable.

So, what is your "cure" for homesickness? I know a few ladies who are in the throes of homesickness and they might appreciate a few new ideas on how to dig themselves out!

and we all breathed a sigh of relief...

Two weeks ago we blew a fuse in our car (how?) and suddenly our stereo wouldn't work. I know it's an easy thing to fix but these small details are the type of thing that we are not good at actually getting around to.

Maybe I should share here that our family loves music. We always have a CD playing in the background when we're at home or in the car. If there's not a CD on then we're singing. All of us. All six of us at one time, singing the same song at the top of our lungs. It's awesome and Chikara and I could not be more thrilled about this. Once I got Chikara his iPod for his birthday, it totally expanded our music library and we were able to introduce the girls to The Barenaked Ladies' If I Had A Million Dollars and the W's The Devil Is Bad and all sorts of other songs that we had totally forgotten about. It's a good job I limited how much money we're able to use at iTunes or we'd be bankrupt by now!

So you can imagine that when our car stereo stopped working it was weird. The silence was weird. We can only sing for so long and sometimes Chikara and I need to talk instead of sing and sometimes the girls fight over which song to sing and who's allowed to sing it, etc. Finally on Monday Chikara had a window of opportunity to take the car and get it fixed. He had a huge smile on his face when he came back. That evening we had been invited to a birthday party for my best friend's son. We piled all the kids in the car at the appropriate time and started off. About two minutes into the drive I realized that we still hadn't turned on the stereo so I hit the button and the radio came on.

From the back seat I heard, said in a half-sigh: Yes.

I feel exactly the same way Emi!

busy day

Today after the girls came home from school we had three errands to do.

The first was to pick up Misaki's passport from the passport center in downtown Osaka.

The second was to go and visit our friends who just had their second baby this morning. The baby was breach, which they knew beforehand, but their doctor wanted to try a natural birth first instead of going with a C-section and they were happy to go along with it. Their little boy is sooooooooo cute. It almost makes me want to have another one. Almost.

The third was to go over to our other friends house and see if their son could infect Natsuki with chicken pox. Emi, Misaki and Sakura had chicken pox two and a half years ago and although I went back and forth about whether or not this was a good idea, I don't want to be worrying about her getting it once she gets into school. We don't leave for Canada for another month and there's not much going on before that so I figured now is as good a time as any. We'll see if we were successful in two weeks!

We left our house around 3:30pm and we didn't get back home until 9:30pm. That's how long it takes to run those three errands in Osaka, in case you're wondering.


Also... Sakura-isms:

sakana butsuri = sakanatsuri (fishing)
nekk = next as in "Nekk is my turn"

Plus she keeps finishing every sentence with, "because I'm four". Yeah, it's already annoying and she's only been four for a week now!

one of those days

Have you ever had one of those days where it seems like your self-confidence is being attacked left and right? Yesterday was like that for me. It wasn't even about the kids or my skills as a mother but more about me, Sarah, the woman. I almost cried even. I just felt awkward in everything I did, especially when speaking Japanese, and I just wanted to throw in the towel and go home, eat chocolate and watch a movie. Which I didn't do since I'm trying to be more careful with what I'm eating. Sigh. Once I got home I realized that I'm probably just experiencing some PMS and that none of the stuff that happened was a big deal except to me so I decided to just let it go. But it sucked.

Actually the story above does show a recent change in my personal life: the ability to think. Or maybe, more precisely, the return of my ability to think since giving birth to Natsuki and all of her sisters. You know when you're pregnant and you forget what you're talking about midstream or after you've given birth and you're just happy that you were able to brush your teeth that day. It seems like I've been in that space of life for a LONG TIME and I enjoyed most of it and I love my kids but the ability to reason again has been wonderful.

I should admit that I've been using most of this reasoning power on problems that are not important to anyone but me. For example, I felt like recently after I do my make-up my eyes looked droopy. Normally I just wouldn't have time to think about this but with my renewed ability to think, I actually took five whole minutes and tried my make-up a few different ways until I figured out that the way I was applying my eyeliner was the problem. So I fixed it! Obviously this is only important to me and nobody noticed and it is a silly problem but I felt so empowered by the fact that I could actually *take* five minutes *and* come up with a solution.

During the last few months I've had this same experience with a lot of trivial things that were constantly plaguing me and it was amazing to be able to solve them quickly. Just imagine how much stuff I'll be able to get done when all the girls are in school. I'm almost giddy just thinking about it.

saying no did the trick

When we first moved to Japan Emi was 8 months old and I was 3 months pregnant with Misaki. We had decided that it would be best to live with Chikara's parents for the first few months until we could get settled. That turned out to be a good decision for more reasons than one. Yes, it helped us save money but it also gave my in-laws a close look at how we raise our children and kind of cleared the air on a number of issues. One of those issues was how we expected our children to behave in restaurants.

I can vividly remember a time when Emi was around 11 months and we went out for dinner at a nabe restaurant. You know, the restaurant with a gas burner in the middle of the table for the pot to rest on. Sigh... it sounded so yummy but I forgot that it takes awhile for the meal to be ready to eat and once it was ready Emi ate quickly and then she was bored waiting for the rest of us to eat. She was sitting in her car seat but soon she had turned to screaming and squirming and I couldn't calm her down. My MIL offered to take her for a walk around the restaurant. I wanted to say no because really I wanted to train our kids to sit through meals but I was tired so I said OK. The two of them walked right to the front of the restaurant to the little toy stand that all restaurants have. Within five minutes my MIL was back for her purse and she bought Emi a little plastic toy. Emi played with that toy for all of 1 minute before she got fussy again. Fortunately by this time we were almost done with dinner so I just held Emi and sang to her until it was time to go. On the way home I remember thinking that dinner hadn't gone too badly.

A few weeks later we went out for dinner again with my in-laws and sure enough halfway through the meal Emi was done and bored but this time she turned immediately to my MIL. She expected to be taken for a walk. Right then I had a moment of clarity. If I let Emi go then she will never learn to sit down through a meal and then the next baby (in my tummy) will not sit through a meal and the next baby that we plan to have shortly after her will never do it either. I will never want to go out for dinner because it's going to be a huge pain which means I'll always have to cook dinner. It was so clear to me it was almost like I was *in* that awful moment. So I said no to my MIL (which did not go over well) and started rummaging through my bag for something to entertain Emi. It was a lot of work on my part that evening but she did sit through the rest of the meal in a relatively calm manner although I sang "Itsy-Bitsy Spider" about a million times.

Now, I am not so far removed from reality to know that it is a lot to expect a one-year-old to sit through a 30-40 minute dinner. But I also know that I've got to start somewhere. After that dinner, I went back to the parenting books I own and called my sister-in-law and my mother to try and get some advice regarding how to go about this. After about a week I had a plan but I didn't get to use it until a few months later after Misaki was born. Chikara's parents took us out for dinner at a new restaurant we hadn't been to before. Misaki was only a couple of months old and slept through the meal but Emi was almost a year and a half and started getting bored about halfway through. I saw my MIL moving to get her so I politely said that it wasn't necessary and whisked Emi to the bathroom. I quietly told Emi that it was time to eat and that I wanted her to sit down and be happy. She said "Yes, Mommy" and we went back and sat down. I handed her a piece of bread and a toy and she sat happily and ate the bread and played with the toy. About five minutes later my in-laws asked Chikara what I had done. Had I spanked her? They weren't appalled but they were shocked by the change in her behavior in such a short time (we were only gone for a minute). So I told them what I done and everyone seemed in shock. In fact, we were all silent and happy for the rest of the meal.

Yes, there have been times where my kids have had a meltdown in a restaurant or just wouldn't cooperate. You know those days where dinner out comes at the end of a long outing or they're teething or are beginning to get sick. We've had those days, too, but in general our children know that we expect them to sit and behave and if they don't then they will have to go with me to the bathroom for a talking to. Actually I'm surprised myself that this works. I think I've only had to give a spanking once or twice at a restaurant but that was to a 3-year-old who was just outright disobeying. Mostly a little talk takes care of it. Of course we follow this up by expecting the same behavior at home and that they follow other rules as well. I think that removing them from the situation and receiving clarification from me about what is expected is what does the trick.

Flash forward six years and we still use the same procedure. On Monday night we went out to ramen for dinner. It's a restuarant we go to often so the girls know what to expect but Natsuki is the one who now needs the constant reminding. After we sat down, our waitress brought us our water and Chikara ordered our food. This restaurant just got new plastic cups with handles for the kids so Natsuki can drink by herself except that she was having a hard time so when I reached over to turn her cup around for her she flipped out because she didn't want me to touch the cup. I handed it back to her but she had already decided she was going to be mad. There were only 3 other people in the restaurant (we were having an early dinner) so I decided this was as good a time as any to let her realize that crying doesn't get her what she wants. Once she realized I wasn't going to do anything she quickly turned from crying to angry screaming so I picked her up and off we went to the bathroom. I've done this with her a few times before so it was cute to see her cry on my shoulder for 15 seconds and then look at my face to await her instructions. Seriously, she knew I was going to tell her something. I said that screaming is "no-no" and that now was time to eat and be happy (words she knows). She repeated "eat" and "happy" and then "OK" and I hugged her and then we went out. She sat right in her seat (the kind that attaches to the table) and she was all happy. I handed her back her cup and she was all smiles. As I turned to go sit down I noticed that Emi, who was sitting beside Natsuki, was straddling the bench instead of sitting up to the table so I told her to turn around. What does she do? She swings her leg over and smashes Natsuki's hand into the table. Why me? Of course Natsuki burst into tears again and Emi got all defensive ("What? You told me to do it"). Just as I was trying to decide what to do the food came. Yeah! Emi said sorry and Natsuki went back to saying "eat, eat, eat" and soon we were back on track.

We enjoyed a lovely meal together and I thought to myself that this is why I said no to my MIL six year ago. You know, so that I don't have to cook all the time!

*** I should also mention that we also try to make dinnertime with our kids a lot of fun. We really encourage sharing about what they did or what they've been thinking about lately. It's a good time for all of us to focus on each other and for the girls to listen to each other. I realized as I re-read my post that someone might get the idea that the kids sit silently around the table while we watch them waiting for a hint of bad behavior. Totally not the case.

maybe it just seems like it...

Maybe it's not true but it seems like everyone I know (in my real world and in the blog world, nevermind Hollywood) is pregnant. Or thinking about getting pregnant. Or wishing they were pregnant. And it's weird for me to think that I'll never do that again. Being pregnant and having babies has been so much a part of my life for the last 9 years that it's hard to know what to think about without it. 9 years ago this month we started trying to get pregnant with Emi. It took us a whole year. In fact if we hadn't gotten pregnant in March 2000 we were going to go to a doctor and get tested. Fortunately we did get pregnant so we didn't have to get on that emotional rollercoaster. Instead we got on another one! For the last 8 years I've been pregnant for over 3 and a half of them and then taken care of an infant for the other 4 years. Basically this is what my whole being has been wrapped up in and as others around me continue to contemplate and experience this stage of life, it's odd to me that I don't have to do it anymore. I can think about the next stage, whatever that is. I guess "it" will just happen and I'll morph into that person just like I've turned into a mother without even realizing it.

It seems like Natsuki is going to be a strong-willed child. There, I said it, I feel better. Maybe she won't but man, she knows how to voice her opinion. Maybe she thinks she has to be loud and ornery just to keep up with her sisters. For such a little one, she has a very commanding presence. We're teaching her about "no" and that we really did mean "no" when we said it. Really. You've already seen the face she put on when I said she couldn't play in the garbage but she's realized that trying to garner our sympathy doesn't get her what she wants so now she's onto rolling her eyes or furrowing her eyebrows or falling to the ground in tears, etc. And she's only 1-1/2. She's not even 2 yet. Does this mean she'll be more difficult at 2 or are we going through it now and she'll be easier at 2 and then more difficult at 3. Sigh...

It seems like Misaki may have a weird illness. My little Misaki has had more odd injuries than the rest of the girls. She bent her collarbone when she was 1-1/2 falling off the couch even though I was sitting right in front of the couch waiting to catch her. She missed. She had her first X-ray that day. None of my other girls have had to have X-rays. Also, Misaki got chickenpox first. She also got mumps, warts and lice first. But she doesn't get colds very much. I'd say she's a healthy child with odd ailments. And her latest ailment is very odd indeed. In December, she fell at school (a common occurence) and bonked her ankle. Her teacher called to tell us about it and by the time she got home she was fine and walking around with no problem. A few weeks later, I noticed that the area was swollen but when I touched it, the area was kind of hard and more like a bump than just swollen. Weird. A few weeks later I realized that the bump was still there so in the beginning of February I took her to the doctor. There she had her second X-ray. Woo-hoo! The X-ray didn't show anything and the doctor thought that maybe if I padded the area so it wasn't getting rubbed by her shoes, etc., that it might go away on it's own. But please come back if it hasn't. Well, not only has it not gone away but now she's got a bump on her elbow and another bump forming on her knee. They don't hurt or itch and it doesn't seem to be effecting her movement. In fact, she learned how to jump rope in the last three months so obviously her joints are still working. Anyways, we're going to take her to the doctor during Spring Break when both Chikara and I can go together. I hope it's nothing serious. I'm not ready for one of the girls to be seriously, life-threateningly sick. Has anybody seen anything like that before?

It seems like the house will never be clean. I have been organizing closets and clothes and piles for weeks now and there still seems to be more of them. The girls brought back massive amounts of paper when school was finished and I can't decide what I should keep and what should be thrown away. I can't imagine what I'll do when all four of the girls are in school! I've been doing laundry faithfully but there's still a pile of dirty clothes. I've been washing dishes faithfully but there's still a pile of dirty dishes. I know, I know, that's a part of running a household but I was hoping that once Natsuki was a bit older and less dependant on me that I would be able to get back into a rythmn with all of this stuff.

On the good side, I am enjoying more great friendships now than I have since before I moved to Japan. This last Sunday at church as we were sitting around the table having lunch with our friends and all of our kids, I realized that I was relaxed, happy, enjoying the conversation (in Japanese!) and I felt normal, a part of this world (cue Little Mermaid music) and I liked it. And it only took seven years!

It seems like Emi's first year of school was a complete success. We got her report card and in every area she received a "dekiru" comment instead of the "gambarou" comment. Dekiru means she can do it and gambarou means she needs to try harder. The teacher wrote a nice note to us about how well she did. After all the nervousness of last April, I am very relieved. Now, how will Misaki do this year? Probably just as well as her sister.

Well, there you go, a look into the corners of my mind. I think this is typical of most moms. The worries and the triumphs all mixed up together.

just to be clear

Once a month we go to Costco and I stock up on some of our favorite foods. Then I try desperately not to eat everything in the first week! We usually buy ground beef, cheese, sour cream, salsa, cream of mushroom soup, torilla shells and then other assorted goodies depending on the season. Once we've got all the things we need then we head over to the bakery section and Chikara and I try to decide between getting pastries or muffins for our breakfasts for the next week. The girls always lobby for the package that has all chocolate muffins but that's a little bit too much for us. Once we bought the package that has only blueberry muffins and there was a great outcry of disbelief from the peanut gallery!

Last week we bought the variety pack of muffins and the next morning when I asked the girls what they wanted for breakfast, I had this conversation with Misaki.

Me: Hey, Misaki, what do you want for breakfast?

Misaki: nuffin...

Me: what?

Misaki: I want nuffin...

Me: Nothing for breakfast?

Misaki: No, a nuffin, I want a nuffin!

Me: Oh! A Mmmuffin?

Misaki: oh... yes, a muffin, please... (giggle!)

Sakura: I want a chocolate nuffin, too!!!

My girlies are so cute.

Also, did you know that they have begun selling magazines at the Costco in Amagasaki? I almost fell over when I saw the rack with all sort of magazines, in English, in the current months' edition even! It was very exciting. I probably won't buy a magazine every month but at least I know where I can get one now. Hee-hee! (I'm giddy with excitement)

Actually Chikara and I were talking yesterday about how much easier it is for me to live in Osaka now than when we moved here almost seven years ago. At that time there was no Costco, we didn't know about FBC or Expat Express and there was no hope of an Ikea. Another thing that has made my life easier is Tsutaya's online DVD rental system. The closest Tsutaya (Japanese version of Blockbuster Video) is at least 30 minutes away so the fact that I can choose videos and have them delivered to my house in one day is awesome.

Seriously, seven years ago we didn't have "nuffin"!

testing my resolve

Two Sundays ago, Chikara woke up earlier than the rest of us to take a shower but the hot water heater wouldn't work. It had been very cold that night so we figured it was just frozen or having a hard time getting going. By the time we got back from church it was working just fine so we didn't think much about. All week we haven't had any problems but on Saturday night when it was time for the kid's baths it wouldn't work again. Chikara's first thought was to go to a Super Sento (public bath) but I knew that would mean me having to bathe and keep an eye on all four kids (and try to keep Natsuki from drowning) while Chikara had a nice, relaxing bath. No, thank you! We decided that if there was no hot water in the morning that we would go to the church early and use their shower. Emi thought that was an awful idea and that for sure someone was going to see her naked. Yes, she's hit that age.

On Sunday morning there was no hot water so we packed everyone in the car as soon as we woke up, drove through McDonald's and had our breakfast and bath at the church. I think Natsuki was the most put out since it was such a wide departure from her idea of "normal". But I was mad or at the least, very frustrated. When we moved to Japan, we didn't have very much. Chikara got what turned out to be The Job From Hell and it covered all of our expenses but with baby after baby arriving, we weren't able to save for the future like we wanted to. Before I got pregnant with Natsuki we were starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel but, of course, Natsuki coming meant that I had to take a break from teaching English. Chikara had found a way better job with a better salary and our needs were being met but our goal was still to build our savings.

This year, 2008, is our chance once again to get our act together. For one year, we won't have to pay any preschool tuition but our kids are still small so their needs aren't expensive yet. Plus, with Natsuki getting older, I can take on some extra English classes if I want. So here we are, January, and we are on the same page and ready to go for it when our hot water heater breaks. It's possible that we could fix it cheaply but it's old so we should replace it. My FIL found a hot water heater last year that had only been used for 3 years so he brought it to our house just in case we needed a replacement. But it would cost money to replace and even then we didn't know if it would work. The last possibility would be to buy a new hot water heater but that could be between $1,000 - $3,000. I was just so frustrated since all options bite into our fledgling savings plan. Grrrr! As I was taking my shower at the church, I just kept thinking that this is Murphy's Law. Why even try?

Anyways, I finished my shower and got ready and headed up to the service that had already started. As I was trying to get my head and heart in the right place while coralling our kids, the worship leader was leading when suddenly he was singing an old hymn. Of course it's in Japanese so I'm trying to place which one it is when the title pops into my head. I Surrender All. It just stopped all of the busyness in my head. Of course. Surrender it. It was so clear to me that I stopped keeping an eye on the kids and just raised my hands and surrendered it all. I felt so much lighter after that moment.

When we got home, Chikara's dad called to see what we were going to do about the hot water heater. We had been in the middle of deciding dinner (part of our savings plan is to make more meals at home). Chikara had been making rice and his fingers were bright red from washing the rice in cold water. They invited us out to dinner and saved the day really. I thought to myself that already God is providing for us. Then dad called us this morning and said that a work friend of his could switch in the used hot water heater for us for $200 and he could come tonight. I almost laughed when I heard. Of course God would protect our good intentions to be stewards of what He's given us. I never needed to worry.

All to Jesus I surrender

All to Him I freely give

I will ever love and trust Him

In His presence daily live

I surrender all

I surrender all

All to thee, my blessed Savior

I surrender all

Already my resolution for this year has been tested. Did I pass? I'm not sure but at least I learned something!

one thing leads to another...

Well, 2008 has just begun and already I've learned something new. In Japan, once the new year has begun, when we meet friends and acquaintances we say a New Year's greeting:

akemashite omedetougozaimasu

kotoshimo yoroshiku onegaishimasu

It's long and sort of a tongue-twister but it's *very* important to remember to say. It's almost like making a first impression that's going to last for the whole year. As January wears on, it gets harder and harder to remember who I've met and who I haven't met and if I run into someone unexpectedly I get all flustered as I try to remember if we've run through this ritual yet this year.

But it's the beginning of the year so I'm still on the I-probably-haven't-seen-you-yet side of this tradition. On Monday morning, my neighbor friend stopped by my house to see if I could pick up her daughter from preschool when I get Misaki and as I opened the door I started in with the first part of the phrase and... she didn't say it back! I was even more flustered so I didn't say the second part and we just went on with our conversation. I asked how her winter vacation went and she said that her grandmother had died so most of the vacation had been taken up with the funeral and that it hadn't been as much fun for her kids. I made my condolences and as she left, I muttered the last part of the New Year's greeting and again, she didn't say anything. I was totally confused because she's the nicest lady in the world (way nicer than me!) and she's Japanese so why didn't she say it. This is the first time this had ever happened to me. I just couldn't figure it out.

On Tuesday after I came back from my English class (man, those kids were full of energy!) and our kids were in bed, Chikara told me that he had seen my friend's mom in the afternoon when he was outside with the kids and when he said the greeting to her she said that she couldn't return the greeting out of respect for her mother who had passed away recently. As he told me this, I had an a-ha moment. That's why my friend hadn't said it to me, either. Unfortunately, even after she told me that her grandmother had passed away, I didn't connect the two so I had spent the day wondering about it.

On Wednesday morning, when I saw my friend, I apologized and told her about my whole misunderstanding. She apologized too (we apologize a lot here) and we had a really great conversation about death, of all things. She and her family are not Christians and the whole thing had really freaked out her kids and caused them to ask questions that the adults didn't have answers to. She said that it must be different for us because we're Christians and I said that it's true, we view death differently. Obviously it's very sad and we grieve for our loss, but we are able to find hope and peace. The more I thought about it, I realized that I don't fear death. How can I? God has led us this far, why would he not have a plan for the rest of our lives, too?

Especially as a new year starts and people around me are making resolutions, this line of thought led me to think more about how I am using this life that I've been given. Am I doing what God wants me to do? I really hope so. Am I being a good steward of what He's given me? Most of the time. Am I having a good attitude along the way? hmm... next question. Is my heart in the right place? Man, these are tough questions. Not really an answer, huh? Um, not all the time. Do I love my neighbor as much as I love myself? I did learn a lot about myself last year in regards to this and I hope that the lessons learned help me care more for the people around me this year.

So in lieu of a New Year's resolution, I will hold onto the hope that as each year passes I am learning more and changing for the better. I think that's enough of a challenge, don't you? It can't be any harder than remembering the New Year's greeting!

It's beginning to look a lot like...

... a lot of work for mom! There is so much that goes into making a holiday special and sometimes I forget that it's *me* that has to do it. It's *me* that has to stir up a Christmas Spirit in my kids that is so wondrous that it lasts in their memories for years to come. No pressure!

One thing I decided that I would do for sure this year was let the kids help me decorate the tree. You don't know how much of a challenge this was for me because I'm a bit of a control freak (stop laughing Hannah!). Last week, in the middle of everything, I got our fake Christmas tree out while Sakura and Natsuki were having their nap and let Emi and Misaki help me put it together and spread out the branches. I left it that way for the afternoon because I wanted to see how Natsuki was going to do with resisting the urge to touch the tree. I think she was actually a bit scared of it at first and then she become interested in it and as soon as she went to touch it, I said "no" and she looked at me out of the corner of her eye and walked away from it. That's pretty much how it's gone since then. She knows she's not allowed to touch it but she'll try every so often, just to make sure we were serious about it.

Once Natsuki went to sleep that night, I got out the lights and decorations. We have about four strands of lights that I've had since Chikara and I were married. I laid them out and checked to see if they would light up and all except one strand were fine. I told the girls I would put the lights on real quick and then they could put the ornaments on. I wrapped all three strands of lights around the tree but when I went to plug it in, only one strand lit up. Huh? I wiggled the lights that weren't working and checked for broken bulbs but it all seemed normal. So, I took all the lights off again, laid them out and plugged them in one by one and, you'll never guess, they all lit up just fine. I connected them together and plugged them in and, again, no problem. Argghhh! It's like the lights were teasing me. So I left them plugged in and wrapped them around the tree and they stayed lit. Yeah! By this time it was later than I had planned so I got out some of the kid-friendly ornaments and let the girls put them on. They had so much fun doing it and I was really glad I had let them be a part of this tradition.




















After they went to sleep, though, I had to take all those ornaments off and start again because I found some other ornaments that should go on first. I really tried to be less control-y but it didn't work. Sigh... but it turned out really nice and the girls didn't seem to notice that I had changed EVERYTHING around.



The next day, after the third night of no sleep, I *had* to prepare for my speech. No nap for me. After Sakura and Natsuki had started their nap, I figured I had about two hours to focus on the speech so I made myself a cup of coffee, put on some Christmas music and plugged in the tree. Only the bottom strand of lights lit up. Unbelievable. I wiggled and jiggled all the strands but the other lights wouldn't work and somehow *that* was the last straw for me and I just wanted to pick up the Christmas tree, ornaments and all, and throw it out the window! But I figured that would be hard to explain to the neighbors so instead I had some chocolate and got to work on my speech. Good thing, too, because an hour later Natsuki woke up screaming and that was the end of my private time.

In spite of my craziness, the girls have revelled in the beauty of the tree and all it's lights and shininess and that segued into the Christmas parties and Christmas services that we had last weekend and now the girls are ready for the real thing. They haven't asked too much about presents and I haven't been as good with promoting Santa Claus as I probably should be. The presents have been accumulating in my closet and I realized that if I didn't wrap them last night then Christmas Eve would be my only other chance. My mom had sent a box of presents but had only wrapped mine so I wrapped those presents and the presents we had bought for the kids. I was really tempted to put them all under the tree but I didn't want to spend the day yelling at the girls not to touch them. Now that we're so close to Christmas, I think the Christmas presents will "appear" on Christmas morning. Less stress for me! So all the wrapped presents went back into the closet but I was proud of a job well done.

Every year I appreciate more how much effort my parents put into making the holidays such a special time for us when we were kids. I hope I will be able to make the same impression on my own children.

Merry Christmas!

the aftermath of being extra nice

All of our kids got sick last week. Yes, in the middle of everything else that was going on. Isn't their timing perfect? Emi started it off with a cold which she passed to Misaki who also got an ear infection who then passed that off in turn to Sakura and then Natsuki. Usually it's Emi who gets the ear infections so I was really surprised when Misaki came into our room in the middle of the night saying that her ear hurt. Misaki, Sakura and Natsuki all had one or two sleepless nights, which means that my husband and I had 5 sleepless nights altogether. They're all feeling much better now but we are starting to notice the curious side effects to all the extra love and attention they received while they were sick.

Most noticeably, they've all turned into whiners and forgotten how to speak.

Conversations with Misaki go like this:

Me: Get changed out of your uniform and then you can play.

Misaki: okay...

(five minutes later)

Me: Misaki, you're not getting changed.

Misaki: okay...

(five minutes later)

Me: Misaki, you need to start getting changed now.

Misaki: But...

Me: No, just start by taking off your jacket.

(five minutes later)

Me: Thanks for taking off your jacket, now take off your vest.

(we go on like this until she's gotten everything off but now she has to hang it on the hanger)

Me: Okay, sweetie, now put it on the hanger.

Misaki: (sniffling) but I can't!

Me: Yes, you can, start with the skirt.

Misaki: (starting to cry) ... but I can't do it fast!

Me: You don't have to do it fast, you just need to do it.

Misaki: (full wail) ... but I *want* to do it fast.

Me: Then do it fast.

Misaki: BUT I CAN'T DO IT FAST... (tears pouring down her face)

(I can tell she's tired so I go to Plan B)

Me: Here, I'm going to set the timer for 5 minutes. If you can't get changed before the time is up then I'll help you finish and you can take a nap.

Misaki: (crying) ... I'm not tired.

Me: Okay, I started the timer. You've got five minutes.

Misaki: I DON'T LIKE FIVE MINUTES (full wailing with tears streaming down her face)

(I ignore her and miraculously she manages to get all of her uniform on the hanger within the 5 minutes)

Me: Yeah, you did it, now you can play.

Misaki: (sniffling) ... but I want to play this game.

Me: Go ahead, that's a good game. (cheerily)

Misaki: (wailing) ... BUT NO ONE WANTS TO PLAY WITH ME.

Me: Sigh...

That's how most of the conversations with Misaki have gone this week. Sakura is no better. If she needs to go to the potty she suddenly appears beside me, holding her crotch, and her eyebrows are raised as high as they can possibly go and then just looks at me. Obviously I know what she wants but I ask her to tell me what she wants in words. She says, "Potty", so I ask her to say it nicely, to which she says "I have to go potty", and then we go. We repeat this at least six times a day. And if you saw Natsuki at any given moment, you would think her life is going to end. Soon. There's a lot of crying and dramatic head throwing and putting her hands over her eyes, etc. It's all a lot of fun.

But even with all the extra drama, we managed to get everything accomplished last week that we needed to. I did my speech on Terry Fox at the junior high school. It went really well. I was mostly worried about forgetting my Japanese all of a sudden and/or losing the kid's attention but I sailed right through everything I wanted to say and the kids were watching me the whole time. Later, the teacher that had invited me in the first place said that they had never had a speaker use the telling of the story of one person to illustrate the culture of a country but that it was, in fact, very effective. I took this to mean that he was nervous before I started speaking that I was going to make a complete fool of myself and, by association, him but that he was very relieved that I didn't.

Also, I sang at with the gospel choir at their concert. I was nervous because on Monday and Wednesday, I lost my voice entirely and when I went to the rehearsal on Tuesday, I was probably at 50% of my normal voice. I was thinking that I had four whole days in which to get better but all four of those nights I was up with one of the kids so I wasn't getting any sleep at all. But in the end, all that worry was for nothing and everything went very well.

Now I'm trying to get ready for our trip to Miyazaki and finish up our Christmas shopping. Hopefully since everyone was sick last week, no one will get sick next week. Fingers crossed!

Why?

When my husband and I were trying to decide where to go for dinner on our 8th wedding anniversary, we decided that for our 10th anniversary we should go away, just the two of us, for a weekend to someplace romantice. A few weeks later, we got pregnant with Natsuki (Coincidence? I think not!) and even then, one of the first things I tried to figure out was how old would she be on our 10th anniversary. Could we still go away? She would be one year and three months. Yes! It would probably be fine.

Last year, we started defining the trip more. Where would we like to go? We narrowed it down to Guam or Okinawa. Both destinations were short plane trips (we didn't want to waste time flying), tropical and romantic, etc. Due to Gina's reports on her trips there, I decided that I wanted to go to Guam because it had the added benefit of feeling like being in the States (Taco Bell here we come). Perfect! Chikara was really up for anything so over the summer that became our plan.

Then last month I started to research how much the trip would cost and it looked pretty affordable so yesterday we started making calls to reserve airline tickets and this is where the dream turned into a nightmare.

Our anniversary is on November 15th, which is a relatively cheap time to fly since there are no national holidays. We decided to go from a Monday to a Wednesday to avoid the extra charges of going on a weekend. BUT, the cheap flights (JAL ANA) to Guam from Osaka-Kansai International Airport leave at 9:40pm and arrive in Guam at 2am (!). The returning flight leaves at 3:55am and arrives at 6:35am. Seriously, this is a WTF moment. If we left on Monday and returned on Wednesday, we would only be in Guam for 26 hours. The more reasonably timed flight (NWA) costs a lot more and is therefore too ridiculous. Sigh...

Our other option would be to go a day early but that would mean that our kids would spend three nights away from us. Now my friends have volunteered to watch our kids, which made me feel so good because either they really like our kids or they really like us, but three whole nights watching two extra kids can be a lot and I don't want to impose upon their good graces. I might want to do this again!

So I guess we're going to look at going to Okinawa. Hopefully there will be no surprises there.

feeling a little fried

It's been a big week for owies in our house. Last week at Misaki's sports day I got sunburnt. Please see evidence below.



Fortunately it was just on my arms, right below my neck and my face (not my shoulders or back) but it's been such a long time since I've had a sunburn that I didn't realize it was happening and then after I couldn't remember how to take care of it. We had two sports days in a row and the weather was cloudy for Emi's sports day and we were all fine. The weather was supposed to be the same for the next day but it totally cleared up and there were no clouds in the sky at all. Plus where our assigned area was, our faces were pointing in the direction of the sun when we were watching Misaki's events. But seriously, through all of this, I wasn't even thinking about the possibility of a sunburn. It's October, for goodness' sake! I hadn't put on any sunblock or anything. About an hour before the lunch break, Chikara was suddenly wondering if I was OK and asking if I wanted to go to the shade. I had no idea what he was talking about and I kept saying I was fine. During the lunch break, we sat under a tent the school had provided. When I took Sakura to the bathroom, I saw myself in the mirror and I was red as a lobster. Crap! I stayed covered for the rest of the events and then we went home. Later that evening, I realized that it wasn't as bad as I had initially thought but it looks awful so I get a lot of stares wherever we go. As if being a foreigner with four cute kids wasn't enough. I'm in the peeling phase, now, much to Emi's delight so I'm sure it'll be all gone soon.

This last Thursday Emi's class had a field trip to the zoo in Kobe. When she got home, her face was all scratched up and she had a big goose egg on her forehead. It turns out that when her class were running together down a hill (why?), a kid behind her bumped her and she fell and smacked her face up.



She was not really thrilled that I took this picture. I got a call from her teacher about and he said that she had smacked her top tooth, too, so we should keep an eye on it. Fortunately it's still a baby tooth so we lucked out there.

Then yesterday I got a call from Misaki's teacher. At first I thought I had missed the bus but it turns out that when Misaki was playing outside after lunch she got smacked in the face by another boy's head (ouch!). The other kid wasn't looking where he was going and ran full force into her. By the time she got home, the area under her right eye was still swollen and this morning it's started turning purple.



It's kind of hard to see so I might take another picture tomorrow. I'm actually kind of glad that she got smacked up, too, because now she and Emi can be injured together. I just hope that no one thinks that we did it to them!

I do have some good news. Natsuki took her first steps yesterday. Yeah! Actually she did a lot of one-stepping followed by dramatic falling but once she figured out what we were trying to do (finally!) she took four steps in a row a couple of times. I think the best part is that she was really excited about her accomplishment and kept trying to walk. Eventually she got too excited and was falling down all over the place. But on the whole it was a "step in the right direction". Ha, ha! I crack myself up. I'll try to get her on video when Chikara's home to help me. In the meantime, here is a picture of her concentrating on putting a straw in a cup.



This kept her quiet for 20 minutes.

Fortunately tonight is the TV premiere of High School Musical 2 so Emi & Misaki have something to lift their spirits. We're going to go to my friend's house and watch it with them since they have cable and we do not. I know that if we had cable, I would sit around and watch television All. Day. Long. I have no self-control in this area, especially when I'm homesick. But tonight will be fun. I'm going to bring popcorn and pop and I'll probably spend the whole night explaining teenage angst and what it makes teenagers do to the girls the whole time. Fun!

I hope all of you have a great weekend.

not enough hours in a day

I've been meaning to update but with all that's been going on it just hasn't happened. This will be short because... well, just because.

Three Sundays ago we went and visited Chikara's grandparents (my first visit since Grandpa was hospitalized) because it was Respect for the Aged Day. We compromised and took them out of dinner and did not go in their house because then Grandma doesn't have to worry about "cleaning" the house. We were really watching them to see how they were doing and although they moved slower, they both finished off a whole steak dinner! Each! I guess they're fine.



The following Sunday (two Sundays ago) we went to visit Chikara's Great-Grandmother. She would be our children's great-great-grandmother. I've never met her before and Chikara hasn't seen her since junior high school (he thinks!). I wasn't sure what to expect so I gave the girls a serious talk about being quiet and listening and obeying right away before we went in. We were guessing that she was in her late 90's but actually she turned 100 years old this last May. She even got a Certificate from the Prime Minister of Japan and a plaque.

Amazingly, she came out to the entrace of the house to greet us and then showed us to their living room, talked up a storm, said funny stuff (and laughed at her own jokes), interacted with the girls, etc. Probably if you met her you would assume that she's in her late 70's because she moves so well and is so mentally alert. She lives with her son and daughter-in-law and they got married later in life so their children are the same age as us and they have one grandchild who is 3 years old. It was great because there were a lot of things for us to talk about. I was really glad that we had made the effort to visit her.



One thing that we noticed about her is that she was really positive. Hardly any negative comments came out of her mouth and we could only surmise that this is part of the reason why she's made it to 100!

The Thursday after that, the girls got lice. We received a call from Misaki's preschool in the morning that she had lice and they were going to send her home so we could de-louse her and the moment we got that call my mind went blank. I didn't know what to do and "shampoo" was the only word that kept bouncing around inside my head. Every sentence I said had the word "shampoo" in it. Then I realized I should check Sakura (Natsuki was sleeping) but I realized that I didn't know what I was looking for so I went straight upstairs and tore all the sheets off of Misaki's bed and threw all of her bed linens in the washing machine. Once she was home, I compared her head with Sakura's and she had it, too. This could only mean that all of my kids had it so I sent Chikara to buy the de-lousing shampoo and to get Emi from school. I spent the next two hours in the bathroom shampooing and combing their hair. Once I was done we discovered that Chikara was the only one who didn't get it. Yes, I had it, too. So I washed all of our bed linens in turn throughout the day and read a lot about lice online until I had more of a grip on what I needed to do to irradicate it from our house. Tonight was the last scheduled shampoo and all of us were lice-free but I will keep checking everytime we take a shower for the next month just to be sure. I guess this is lice-season. This was the first time I swore in front of my kids, too. Sigh...

This last Sunday was supposed to be Emi's sports day but it rained so we had it today and then Misaki's sports day will be tomorrow. I would like to insert here that last year Misaki got mumps the week before sports day and it cleared up just in time for her to participate and this year she got lice the week before sports day and it cleared up right before sports day, too. I wonder what she'll get next year.

There's a lot of other things we did throughout the last three weeks, like for example, I started a group for stay-at-home moms that go to my church. I did the whole thing in Japanese, even leading worship from the piano. I think it went well. I'm going to do it for three months and if everyone thinks that it's worthwhile then I'll continue doing it until I'm not a stay-at-home mom anymore! Also, Sakura is potty-trained and Natsuki learned how to crawl off the couch by herself and those two things have made my life a little bit easier.

Hopefully I'll be able to fill in some more details once this next weekend is over.

Murphy's Law

On Tuesday, while I was gone teaching English, something happened. Actually "something" always happens when I'm not around and it's still my fault. It's amazing how that works. This time the cap of one of the plastic bottles for blowing bubbles fell down the drain in the bathroom sink. There are a million reasons why this would not happen in a normal house but in our house we had taken out the stopper for the sink because it kept getting backed up with hair and we're too lazy to clean it out on a regular basis and I kept the bubbles bottles on the shelf, right above the sink, because then they were up out of the reach of the kids but still in a convenient place for me to reach them (because I'm lazy). It should be obvious by now what is contributing to our problems but there it is, chaos waiting to happen. Also, coincidentally, the cap is just smaller than the drain so it fit in perfectly and fell out of reach but still continued to block the water at random intervals.

In our typical fashion, we ignored it for a day, hoping that it would just go away but on Wednesday night it was still occasionally giving us problems so Chikara decides that he wants to call a plumber. I think this is ridiculous because they'll just charge us a fortune to say that they can't find it and plus Chikara's dad is doing this type of stuff now so before we drive ourselves to financial ruin we should ask him to take a look at it. Right? This makes perfect sense to me. Fortunately Chikara is busy right now and calling the plumber will take more time than calling his dad so he chose the lesser of two evils (I'm guessing that no self-respecting guy wants to call their Dad about this type of stuff). Since Chikara's parents come each Thursday to take the girls out for the evening, the timing couldn't have been better.

Or so I thought. I have to admit that in the summer I'm not very faithful with housecleaning and such. It's just so hot in most of the house that after ten minutes of minimal exertion I want to collapse plus Natsuki's mobile now so I have to bring her with me and basically all of this is a recipe for disaster (I wish I had taken a picture of her trying to climb into the toilet head first). It's funny because a lot of people I run into say that they respect me so much for being a mother of four, etc., but if they could see the state of our house on any given day, they would probably be horrified. I'm not sharing this as an excuse, this is a fact of my life, I have to decide each day what I'm going to do and then abandon the rest for another day (or month!).

So how does this relate to my story? Well, the bathroom is in horrible condition, especially the sink, where my father-in-law is going to be working but I figured my in-laws would come to get the kids late, as usual, and then come back and look at the sink later after I had cleaned it. You can imagine my shock when they appeared early and unannounced in my living room. There were toys everywhere, the 3 ft of counter space in the kitchen was covered with recycling and dishes, I didn't have a bra on and the bathroom sink was still not cleaned. I cannot even guess what they were thinking but they looked unaffected and Dad went right to work while Mom played with the girls. Fortunately Natsuki woke up so I gave her a bottle and then fed her while all of this was going on. Dad never did find the cap but he was able to force water through the pipes and we haven't had any more problems so I guess it's floating off towards the ocean somehow and will soon join all the other garbage in the sea.

It's sad. Not only are we lazy but we're also not eco-friendly.

In other sad news, I ripped a hole in the knee of the only pair of pants that fit me. I guess I'll be asking for money for my birthday so I can go shopping.

Some pictures from this week:

summer vacation is receiving mixed reviews

I am happy to report that, in general, the summer schedule is working. There have been a few moments of destruction on the part of Sakura and Misaki followed by moments of exasperation on my part. Emi has swimming lessons at her school every morning this week while Misaki only had a half day of regular school on Monday with nothing else scheduled for her until Friday afternoon. Since both Emi and Misaki were not home on Monday morning, it was fairly quiet.

Tuesday morning, however, brought the mayhem. As Emi went out the door at 9:15, I went downstairs with Misaki and Sakura to show them the play area. I gave them my usual speech about the rules to which they agreed most solemnly and as I went back up the stairs I gave myself a pat on the back for having the foresight to make such a schedule. I *am* so clever!

Just five minutes later my peace was broken with a request for bubbles. Sure. I had bought a whole litre of bubbles last month at Toys R Us for just this occasion. I went downstairs and poured the bubble solution into little reusable bubble containers and handed them to the girls along with the blowing wands. I cautioned them to be careful and not spill it right away (one of my pet peeves) and then put the cap back on the big bottle and put it away in the closet. I returned to the living room and continued drinking my coffee while catching up on the news and watching Natsuki. After a bit, I realized that it was quiet. Too quiet. Chikara took a peek out the window and said, with some alarm, that the girls were playing with the water and had a big bottle of bubbles beside them. Crap. I put Natsuki down for her morning nap and went down to see what they were up to. Unbelievably, they had found the big bottle of bubbles and had poured the ENTIRE BOTTLE into the little box where our outside water faucet is kept. Seriously, a whole litre of bubbles down the drain. I'm not sure what they were thinking and actually, this is the problem with the two of them. They don't try to do wrong things, they're not mischievous like that, but they don't think ahead about the consequences of their actions.

I stood for a whole 10 seconds trying to decide what to do. On the one hand, I don't want a repeat of this every day for the whole summer so some decisive action needs to be taken but also the two of them are not used to being unsupervised so how much responsibility needs to put on them for their actions. I sent the two of them inside of the house to wait for me while I cleaned the bubbles off of the asphalt with water from the hose. They were soaking wet so we took off all their clothes in the laundry room and I sent Sakura upstairs so I could talk to Misaki. She knew that she had disobeyed me so I told her what she had done and why it was wrong and then gave her a spanking. I held her while she cried and then we talked together about not doing the same thing again, I gave her a hug and told her I loved her and then we went upstairs to put some clean clothes on. Once we were upstairs I had a talk with Sakura, too, but it was more of a stern warning since she's never been in this type of situation before.

Yes, we spank our kids. It's the third step in our discipline process and we don't use it more than once a month on any of the kids. First we give a warning and if the offense is repeated, a time-out or loss of privilege is applied but if the behavior is repeated then we do, with as much love as we possess, give a spanking. We find that because they know that we will not hesitate to spank them that their behavior is usually changed before we get that far. Both my husband and I were spanked as children and have never felt oppressed or abused but actually appreciate that our parents taught us the pain that comes with disobedience in a safe and loving environment before we were adults and thrown into the harsh realities of life.

So why, if spanking is the third step, did I do it right away? Because I have had this conversation with Emi and Misaki many times before she has already had her warnings and time-outs many times throughout the last two years and since she's 5, she needs to remember the rules previously learned. Anyways, after the two of them calmed down, I sent them outside again with a few more rules and they played without incident until Emi came home around 11:30. I went to the store during this time and bought groceries and all the things that make a household run smoothly. I bought some peanut butter sandwiches for the girls for lunch since I was going to have to get ready for my English class and Chikara was still busy working at the kitchen table. The girls started to wander in while I was putting the groceries away and soon I was able to set out their lunch for them. I was taking care of Natsuki while the girls were eating their lunch so I wasn't necessarily watching them when suddenly Emi yelled out, "Misaki!". I turned to look at Misaki and she quickly hid her hands behind her back. I told her to show me her hands and when she did, I couldn't believe it. She had scraped all the peanut butter off of her sandwich with her fingers and each finger had a big ball of peanut butter stuck to the end of it. I was so mad, I actually had to stop and count to ten. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. It helped a little bit. Again, playing with her food is something that we've been working on with Misaki. So, we had another conversation and another spanking because that kind of behavior is totally unacceptable. Wow, two spankings in one day has got to be some kind of record for our family. At this point, I decided it would be a good idea for Misaki to take a nap during the afternoon while I was gone to teach English.

By the time I returned from teaching English, the girls had had quite a long day and were pretty worn out. Usually Chikara gives them a bath but his parents had asked if they could stop by to talk about my MIL's parents. Grandpa had an ulcer flare up over the weekend and he had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance. They live almost two hours away from where we and my in-laws live and they have been talking of moving closer so that we would be able to help them for emergencies just like this. Unfortunately Grandma is a very picky woman who has an OCD-like affinity for cleanliness.

For example, if you go to use the toilet in her house there are slippers outside the bathroom door to use that have tissue stuffed in them. Once you step into the bathroom there are two parts, a sink room and then the toilet room beside it. The floor of the sink room is covered with newspaper and then when you step into the toilet room, there is a different pair of slippers also stuffed with tissue and then newspaper all over the floor of that room. They had a Japanese-style toilet that is set up about a foot and a half off the floor and you're supposed so take off your slippers and step-up and then squat over the toilet. There, and this is the clincher, she has placed a neat pile of about 10 pieces of tissue right at the place where you're supposed to put your feet while using the toilet. This type of stuff is repeated all over the house so you can imagine how much energy it takes to do all of this. Grandma has been suffering from a problem with her back and so Grandpa has been in charge of taking care of these types of things since he retired 5 years ago. I'm sure not a day goes by that he doesn't wish that he hadn't retired. The stress of taking care of Grandma and being with her in the house all day has really taken a toll on his health and recently he has aged visibly so we weren't very surprised that something like this happened.

The evening that Grandpa's ulcer started giving him problems, there was something spicy mixed in with his food and while he was eating, there was a sudden pain and he clutched his stomach and fell to the floor. Grandma ran to get the phone and call the hospital but no one answered so she called her only child, and only possible help, my MIL, and there was no answer, so Grandpa told her to call for an ambulance and she asked him how to do that. Mind you, he's an 80-something-year old man with a severe pain in his stomach laying on the floor and he had to guide her through all of this. 1-1-9, dial 1-1-9 (our 9-1-1). So she calls and first apologizes for calling and then explains what has happened to them.

You would think that this story couldn't get any better but it does. When the ambulance arrives, they check Grandpa and decide that he should indeed be taken to the hospital. As they're loading him in, the EMT turns to Grandma and says that she should get in, too, because she doesn't look well, either. She says that she has to take care of some stuff in the house before she goes so while Grandpa waits in pain in the ambulance, the EMT helps her turn off the gas, unplug all electrical appliances, throw away their dinner and put the dishes in the sink, get some clothes for her to change into and lock up the house. That EMT is a very patient man. Once they get to the hospital and Grandpa is checked and admitted, Grandma asks the nursing staff to call her a taxi so she can go home and they inform her that, unfortunately, that night is the night of the summer festival for their town so no taxis have been running since 6pm. She tries to call Chikara's parents, but they don't answer, so she sits on a stool beside Grandpa's bed until morning when the taxis are running again. She tried every hour to get ahold of my MIL but they didn't hear since their phone is on the 1st floor and they sleep (separately!) on the 2nd floor.

Honestly, *this* why we have been trying to encourage them to move closer and finally they understand the kind of predicament they can easily find themselves in and are willing to move quickly. They have opened up more about their financial state (good) and have given us more leeway in picking a place for them to live (very good). And so this is why Chikara's parents stopped by on a Tuesday night and consequently why the girls didn't get a bath. Sorry for the detour but I had to write that story.

Wednesday went a little bit better although I still had to go out and tell Sakura that she was *not* allowed to play with the water to which she answered with a surprised "Oh". And actually all day I would peek out the window and see them doing things I had just asked them not to do and everytime the ensuing conversations would go something like this:

Me: Hey, I thought I told you not to play with the umbrellas.

Misaki: But Sakura wanted to.

Me: Who is the big sister? You or Sakura?

Misaki: me...

Me: Then don't let her do stuff she's not supposed to do, okay?

Misaki: okay...

By Wednesday afternoon all the little girls in the neighborhood had figured that our house was the place to be and when I went to call my daughters for dinner, there were 9 girls playing in the entrance to our house. 9 girls. They didn't even really fit but it didn't seem to bother anyone. Emi was enjoying hosting everyone and calling out orders from the stairs (I'm assuming so that she could be taller than everyone) and everyone seemed genuinely sad when it was time to go home.

Today one of the neighbor girls brought corn when she came to play. I'm guessing her mother made it this morning to say thank you for letting her play all day the day before. It was still warm and I was so excited because I hadn't been able to decide what I was going to make for lunch and here the answer was provided. I added some rice and some teriyaki meatballs and we were all set. I was also excited because that meant I was done with cooking for the rest of the day since Chikara's parents usually come and get the kids every Thursday night. Even though they were going to see Chikara's grandparents during the day, they said that they still wanted to come and get the girls. By 5pm, I hadn't heard from them and I had a sinking feeling that they weren't coming so I started to think of something to make for dinner. By 6pm, I hadn't received any answer to my text messages so I went ahead and made spaghetti. The girls were so worn out from the day that they didn't put together that eating dinner at home meant they weren't going out with their grandparents.

They appeared around 7:45pm without an apology and then went on to exasperate Chikara with their lack of a plan of any kind regarding the next couple of weeks until Grandpa goes home from the hospital. Chikara is an only child so throughout my in-law's whole married life they could just do what they want when they wanted to so they totally do not understand that with four kids we need a little bit of advanced warning if they want something from us.

So that has been the first part of our week. I also went and saw Die Hard 4 by myself last night. Chikara went and saw it last week with his work buddies and for some reason I really wanted to see it. Wednesday is Ladies Day so it only cost me 1000 yen ($10) but as I sat down I realized that I have never been to a theatre by myself. I was a very odd feeling but once the movie started, I forgot that I was alone and really enjoyed myself.

Also, recently a friend and I did a book exchange of sorts and, among other things, lent me a few Jane Austen books which then made me want to see the movies but I was unable to rent Emma (with Gwyneth Paltrow) which was a little bit sad. I found it on Amazon and then while I was searching, I also found that they are selling the complete seasons of Little House On The Prairie. I'm tempted to save my pennies and buy them over the next few years and watch them with my girls. Even Chikara remembers watching Little House on TV when he was younger.

Now I'm just sharing random stuff, although it feels good to get it off my chest. One thing about summer vacation is that I'm stuck in the house, but the schedule is working and the rules are starting to have their desired effect. I think we will survive.

watching movies in Japan

I don't about other expats living in Japan but one thing that makes me homesick is movie-going or actually *not* movie-going. When Chikara and I were dating and then married, we used to go to movies all the time. Even after we had Emi, it was so easy to get a babysitter and go out when we wanted to. Since we moved to Japan, this is hardly the case at all. A few weeks ago, a Japanese friend and I were commiserating over how much our lives have changed since having kids and suddenly it hit me. We should trade babysitting so we could each go with our husbands to see Pirates of the Caribbean. We've been friends since I moved here and I don't know why we didn't think of this earlier. She came and babysat for us last Saturday and we're going to watch her kids next Sunday. Hopefully everything will go well and we can do this again every so often.

But it's still more work than it needs to be. I miss the concept of babysitting. I know we have four kids but when we go home and visit my brother's family, they get a babysitter (or two) who easily watch all eight of our kids and by the time we come home, all the kids are in bed and the babysitters are watching TV. I used to babysit when I was in high school and it was so much fun. I looked forward to watching other people's kids and relaxing. Plus the money was pretty awesome, too.

Another thing that really makes me realize that I live in different country is release dates and availability. Two years after we moved to Japan, we finally got internet service. That was four years ago and since that time, I had the ability to read about movies that were coming soon and see trailers. I was so excited. I felt in touch with my own culture. When I talked to friends and family, I actually knew what they were talking about. I soon realized that it was one more way to make me feel farther away. The movies I would read about wouldn't come to the theatres until a few months after they did in the States and again the video/DVD release date was even later. Also, some movies never made it to Japan. I guess someone thought that there were movies that Japanese people wouldn't appreciate so it wasn't worth the effort. Irritating.

I know it's just movies and not starving people in Africa so in the grand scheme of things, really not that important, but it was and still is frustrating for me.

Anyways, I still look and I recently found two movies that I hope to see in Japan.

Waitress with Keri Russell - I don't know if this movie will come to Japan because it's not really mainstream but I can wish for it.

Stardust with Michelle Pfeiffer, Robert DeNiro, Claire Danes and a lot of other people. I saw this today and I hope to watch it within this year but I don't think that's a reality.

Oh, well. Life goes on. What movies are you waiting for?

YouTube is way too much fun!

I've been working on this post for over a week and I'm not really sure why. I've known about YouTube for awhile but mostly I've just used it to check out other people's links. Then last week Gina wrote a post about listening to some of her favorite songs while cleaning her kitchen and it made me start to think about songs I used to love to listen to and all the memories that go with them. This year is my 15-year high school reunion and it is really making me introspective (am I using that word right?). Last August one of my classmates passed away and I guess this is affecting me more than I thought. I'm not bursting into tears all the time or anything like that but I do find myself spending time trying to bring back "what was high school really like" type of feelings or memories or anything. It's hard to remember what a day of high school was really like. All that's coming back are memories of embaressing things I did or said, stuff I got in trouble for or the complexities of high school relationships and I use "complex" in a sarcastic way.

All these memories are making me wonder what my girls will go through when they reach high school. Part of me wants to start preparing them for the emotional rollercoaster and also how high school is at the same time important and unimportant. Yes, it's important to study well and have a positive experience but the hours spent worrying over what what a classmate said in passing or what clothes to wear or what that boy thinks of you is unimportant in the grand scheme of life and, obviously, unmemorable!

I'm sure that with my girls, because they are girls, we will experience the highest highs and the lowest lows of the emotional rollercoaster. Hoo! That's going to be so much fun! I'm already looking forward to it.

Following are some of the songs I found on YouTube as I tried to make my way down memory lane. Some of the following songs are not necessarily my favorite but they do carry some memory with them and others I just like for no particular reason and some I absolutely love.

Everything I Do by Bryan Adams. One of my friends dedicated this song to his girlfriend when we were in high school and everytime we would go out, they would play it in the car. I've heard this song so many times and when I found it on YouTube, I almost cried, since this was the friend that passed away this year. Although this time may not be his favorite memory, this song brings him back in my mind.

Nobody Wants To Be Lonely by Ricky Martin & Christina Aguilera. This is a beautiful music video.

Who doesn't like Jon Bon Jovi! Seriously, if you don't, I don't want to hear about it. This is a newer song of his It's My Life. The video is cool.

Next Time I Fall In Love by Peter Cetera & Amy Grant. This is about the time that Amy Grant fell from grace in the Christian music world. It's an great song, though!

You've Got A Way by Shania Twain. This song is the love theme from Notting Hill and it's just beautiful. If you haven't seen this movie, I highly recommend it.

The Reason by Hoobastank. Obviously this is not a high school memory since this song came out recently. We really like music so we listen to the radio a lot but it's mostly Japanese (duh!) along with popular music from the States and I loved this song right away from the first time I heard it.

Take Me Away by the Dixie Chicks. Cool song. I feel like this sometimes. Also, since they play instruments their music has a great sound to it.

The Power Of Love by Huey Lewis & The News. Michael J. Fox. Back To The Future. Nothing more to say.



The Prayer sung by Celine Dion & Josh Groban. Josh Groban got his break when Andre Bochelli couldn't make it to sing with Celine Dion at one of her concerts. The show's producer said that maybe his son could stand in, at least for the rehearsal, until some other solution could be worked out. There were no other options at the time so they said he could try and everyone was so surprised when he started singing. That was his chance, his lucky break and the rest is history!

You're The Inspiration by Chicago. Again, a very beautiful song with a lot of non-specific memories.

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face sung by Celine Dion. This is one of those songs that you would want playing in the background during your first kiss. It's so poetic and very beautifully drawn out.

Hmmm. Quite the mish-mash of songs. I'm almost embaressed to post this but I spent so much time on it so I can't justify not actually posting it. Enjoy it or ignore it.