Chikara and I have been wanting to go and watch Star Trek ever since we heard about it. I watched Star Trek and Star Trek: TNG when I was younger. I wouldn't call myself a Trekkie, but I enjoyed the shows and know most of the character's names. Chikara has also watched enough to be interested in seeing the movie.
Problem: I have never been able to get a babysitter. You know, a teenager who will come and watch your kids so you can go out with your husband and then you pay them. I've never seen it done here in Japan. Usually what we do is trade babysitting with our friends but they're all going through various difficult things right now so we didn't want to ask them. Our only option left was to ask Chikara's parents. This isn't necessarily a horrible option but they are busy on Sundays and Chikara's mom can get tired easily because of her kidney problems so this is usually a last option. But Chikara called his mom and she could come so we were really excited.
We bought our tickets online and I put the kids to bed while Chikara picked up his mom. I showed his mom where all the good snacks are and off we went.
The movie was awesome. We talked about it all the way home.
When we arrived home, I went into the living room and no one was there. We had seen Dad's car down the street so we knew both of them were at our house. I called out hello and mom came tiptoeing down the stairs. I turns out that Natsuki had called for me about 10 minutes after we left for the movie and when my MIL went in to see what she wanted, Natsuki freaked out. They tried everything to calm her down. They let her watch videos, gave her popsicles and juice, moved Misaki into another bed so Natsuki could be with Emi (her "other" mommy) but nothing had worked until about 10 minutes before we got home and she finally went to sleep. It was 11:30 at night and Emi was still awake, sitting beside Natsuki who was a knot of sweat and blankets.
I sighed and then moved everybody back to their own beds and laid beside Natsuki until she was asleep. It took only 10 minutes to put everything back the way it should be.
After the high of watching the best movie we've seen in awhile, coming home to the chaos brought us back to reality real fast. I can't decide if we should feel bad for my MIL or not. We rarely ask her to do this for us and she is their grandmother but basically she spent two and a half hours trying to figure out what to do for a crying and screaming Natsuki.
Next time we'll just ask our friends to watch the girls.
Showing posts with label MIL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MIL. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Friday, September 21, 2007
Murphy's Law
On Tuesday, while I was gone teaching English, something happened. Actually "something" always happens when I'm not around and it's still my fault. It's amazing how that works. This time the cap of one of the plastic bottles for blowing bubbles fell down the drain in the bathroom sink. There are a million reasons why this would not happen in a normal house but in our house we had taken out the stopper for the sink because it kept getting backed up with hair and we're too lazy to clean it out on a regular basis and I kept the bubbles bottles on the shelf, right above the sink, because then they were up out of the reach of the kids but still in a convenient place for me to reach them (because I'm lazy). It should be obvious by now what is contributing to our problems but there it is, chaos waiting to happen. Also, coincidentally, the cap is just smaller than the drain so it fit in perfectly and fell out of reach but still continued to block the water at random intervals.
In our typical fashion, we ignored it for a day, hoping that it would just go away but on Wednesday night it was still occasionally giving us problems so Chikara decides that he wants to call a plumber. I think this is ridiculous because they'll just charge us a fortune to say that they can't find it and plus Chikara's dad is doing this type of stuff now so before we drive ourselves to financial ruin we should ask him to take a look at it. Right? This makes perfect sense to me. Fortunately Chikara is busy right now and calling the plumber will take more time than calling his dad so he chose the lesser of two evils (I'm guessing that no self-respecting guy wants to call their Dad about this type of stuff). Since Chikara's parents come each Thursday to take the girls out for the evening, the timing couldn't have been better.
Or so I thought. I have to admit that in the summer I'm not very faithful with housecleaning and such. It's just so hot in most of the house that after ten minutes of minimal exertion I want to collapse plus Natsuki's mobile now so I have to bring her with me and basically all of this is a recipe for disaster (I wish I had taken a picture of her trying to climb into the toilet head first). It's funny because a lot of people I run into say that they respect me so much for being a mother of four, etc., but if they could see the state of our house on any given day, they would probably be horrified. I'm not sharing this as an excuse, this is a fact of my life, I have to decide each day what I'm going to do and then abandon the rest for another day (or month!).
So how does this relate to my story? Well, the bathroom is in horrible condition, especially the sink, where my father-in-law is going to be working but I figured my in-laws would come to get the kids late, as usual, and then come back and look at the sink later after I had cleaned it. You can imagine my shock when they appeared early and unannounced in my living room. There were toys everywhere, the 3 ft of counter space in the kitchen was covered with recycling and dishes, I didn't have a bra on and the bathroom sink was still not cleaned. I cannot even guess what they were thinking but they looked unaffected and Dad went right to work while Mom played with the girls. Fortunately Natsuki woke up so I gave her a bottle and then fed her while all of this was going on. Dad never did find the cap but he was able to force water through the pipes and we haven't had any more problems so I guess it's floating off towards the ocean somehow and will soon join all the other garbage in the sea.
It's sad. Not only are we lazy but we're also not eco-friendly.
In other sad news, I ripped a hole in the knee of the only pair of pants that fit me. I guess I'll be asking for money for my birthday so I can go shopping.
Some pictures from this week:
In our typical fashion, we ignored it for a day, hoping that it would just go away but on Wednesday night it was still occasionally giving us problems so Chikara decides that he wants to call a plumber. I think this is ridiculous because they'll just charge us a fortune to say that they can't find it and plus Chikara's dad is doing this type of stuff now so before we drive ourselves to financial ruin we should ask him to take a look at it. Right? This makes perfect sense to me. Fortunately Chikara is busy right now and calling the plumber will take more time than calling his dad so he chose the lesser of two evils (I'm guessing that no self-respecting guy wants to call their Dad about this type of stuff). Since Chikara's parents come each Thursday to take the girls out for the evening, the timing couldn't have been better.
Or so I thought. I have to admit that in the summer I'm not very faithful with housecleaning and such. It's just so hot in most of the house that after ten minutes of minimal exertion I want to collapse plus Natsuki's mobile now so I have to bring her with me and basically all of this is a recipe for disaster (I wish I had taken a picture of her trying to climb into the toilet head first). It's funny because a lot of people I run into say that they respect me so much for being a mother of four, etc., but if they could see the state of our house on any given day, they would probably be horrified. I'm not sharing this as an excuse, this is a fact of my life, I have to decide each day what I'm going to do and then abandon the rest for another day (or month!).
So how does this relate to my story? Well, the bathroom is in horrible condition, especially the sink, where my father-in-law is going to be working but I figured my in-laws would come to get the kids late, as usual, and then come back and look at the sink later after I had cleaned it. You can imagine my shock when they appeared early and unannounced in my living room. There were toys everywhere, the 3 ft of counter space in the kitchen was covered with recycling and dishes, I didn't have a bra on and the bathroom sink was still not cleaned. I cannot even guess what they were thinking but they looked unaffected and Dad went right to work while Mom played with the girls. Fortunately Natsuki woke up so I gave her a bottle and then fed her while all of this was going on. Dad never did find the cap but he was able to force water through the pipes and we haven't had any more problems so I guess it's floating off towards the ocean somehow and will soon join all the other garbage in the sea.
It's sad. Not only are we lazy but we're also not eco-friendly.
In other sad news, I ripped a hole in the knee of the only pair of pants that fit me. I guess I'll be asking for money for my birthday so I can go shopping.
Some pictures from this week:
Thursday, July 26, 2007
summer vacation is receiving mixed reviews
I am happy to report that, in general, the summer schedule is working. There have been a few moments of destruction on the part of Sakura and Misaki followed by moments of exasperation on my part. Emi has swimming lessons at her school every morning this week while Misaki only had a half day of regular school on Monday with nothing else scheduled for her until Friday afternoon. Since both Emi and Misaki were not home on Monday morning, it was fairly quiet.
Tuesday morning, however, brought the mayhem. As Emi went out the door at 9:15, I went downstairs with Misaki and Sakura to show them the play area. I gave them my usual speech about the rules to which they agreed most solemnly and as I went back up the stairs I gave myself a pat on the back for having the foresight to make such a schedule. I *am* so clever!
Just five minutes later my peace was broken with a request for bubbles. Sure. I had bought a whole litre of bubbles last month at Toys R Us for just this occasion. I went downstairs and poured the bubble solution into little reusable bubble containers and handed them to the girls along with the blowing wands. I cautioned them to be careful and not spill it right away (one of my pet peeves) and then put the cap back on the big bottle and put it away in the closet. I returned to the living room and continued drinking my coffee while catching up on the news and watching Natsuki. After a bit, I realized that it was quiet. Too quiet. Chikara took a peek out the window and said, with some alarm, that the girls were playing with the water and had a big bottle of bubbles beside them. Crap. I put Natsuki down for her morning nap and went down to see what they were up to. Unbelievably, they had found the big bottle of bubbles and had poured the ENTIRE BOTTLE into the little box where our outside water faucet is kept. Seriously, a whole litre of bubbles down the drain. I'm not sure what they were thinking and actually, this is the problem with the two of them. They don't try to do wrong things, they're not mischievous like that, but they don't think ahead about the consequences of their actions.
I stood for a whole 10 seconds trying to decide what to do. On the one hand, I don't want a repeat of this every day for the whole summer so some decisive action needs to be taken but also the two of them are not used to being unsupervised so how much responsibility needs to put on them for their actions. I sent the two of them inside of the house to wait for me while I cleaned the bubbles off of the asphalt with water from the hose. They were soaking wet so we took off all their clothes in the laundry room and I sent Sakura upstairs so I could talk to Misaki. She knew that she had disobeyed me so I told her what she had done and why it was wrong and then gave her a spanking. I held her while she cried and then we talked together about not doing the same thing again, I gave her a hug and told her I loved her and then we went upstairs to put some clean clothes on. Once we were upstairs I had a talk with Sakura, too, but it was more of a stern warning since she's never been in this type of situation before.
Yes, we spank our kids. It's the third step in our discipline process and we don't use it more than once a month on any of the kids. First we give a warning and if the offense is repeated, a time-out or loss of privilege is applied but if the behavior is repeated then we do, with as much love as we possess, give a spanking. We find that because they know that we will not hesitate to spank them that their behavior is usually changed before we get that far. Both my husband and I were spanked as children and have never felt oppressed or abused but actually appreciate that our parents taught us the pain that comes with disobedience in a safe and loving environment before we were adults and thrown into the harsh realities of life.
So why, if spanking is the third step, did I do it right away? Because I have had this conversation with Emi and Misaki many times before she has already had her warnings and time-outs many times throughout the last two years and since she's 5, she needs to remember the rules previously learned. Anyways, after the two of them calmed down, I sent them outside again with a few more rules and they played without incident until Emi came home around 11:30. I went to the store during this time and bought groceries and all the things that make a household run smoothly. I bought some peanut butter sandwiches for the girls for lunch since I was going to have to get ready for my English class and Chikara was still busy working at the kitchen table. The girls started to wander in while I was putting the groceries away and soon I was able to set out their lunch for them. I was taking care of Natsuki while the girls were eating their lunch so I wasn't necessarily watching them when suddenly Emi yelled out, "Misaki!". I turned to look at Misaki and she quickly hid her hands behind her back. I told her to show me her hands and when she did, I couldn't believe it. She had scraped all the peanut butter off of her sandwich with her fingers and each finger had a big ball of peanut butter stuck to the end of it. I was so mad, I actually had to stop and count to ten. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. It helped a little bit. Again, playing with her food is something that we've been working on with Misaki. So, we had another conversation and another spanking because that kind of behavior is totally unacceptable. Wow, two spankings in one day has got to be some kind of record for our family. At this point, I decided it would be a good idea for Misaki to take a nap during the afternoon while I was gone to teach English.
By the time I returned from teaching English, the girls had had quite a long day and were pretty worn out. Usually Chikara gives them a bath but his parents had asked if they could stop by to talk about my MIL's parents. Grandpa had an ulcer flare up over the weekend and he had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance. They live almost two hours away from where we and my in-laws live and they have been talking of moving closer so that we would be able to help them for emergencies just like this. Unfortunately Grandma is a very picky woman who has an OCD-like affinity for cleanliness.
For example, if you go to use the toilet in her house there are slippers outside the bathroom door to use that have tissue stuffed in them. Once you step into the bathroom there are two parts, a sink room and then the toilet room beside it. The floor of the sink room is covered with newspaper and then when you step into the toilet room, there is a different pair of slippers also stuffed with tissue and then newspaper all over the floor of that room. They had a Japanese-style toilet that is set up about a foot and a half off the floor and you're supposed so take off your slippers and step-up and then squat over the toilet. There, and this is the clincher, she has placed a neat pile of about 10 pieces of tissue right at the place where you're supposed to put your feet while using the toilet. This type of stuff is repeated all over the house so you can imagine how much energy it takes to do all of this. Grandma has been suffering from a problem with her back and so Grandpa has been in charge of taking care of these types of things since he retired 5 years ago. I'm sure not a day goes by that he doesn't wish that he hadn't retired. The stress of taking care of Grandma and being with her in the house all day has really taken a toll on his health and recently he has aged visibly so we weren't very surprised that something like this happened.
The evening that Grandpa's ulcer started giving him problems, there was something spicy mixed in with his food and while he was eating, there was a sudden pain and he clutched his stomach and fell to the floor. Grandma ran to get the phone and call the hospital but no one answered so she called her only child, and only possible help, my MIL, and there was no answer, so Grandpa told her to call for an ambulance and she asked him how to do that. Mind you, he's an 80-something-year old man with a severe pain in his stomach laying on the floor and he had to guide her through all of this. 1-1-9, dial 1-1-9 (our 9-1-1). So she calls and first apologizes for calling and then explains what has happened to them.
You would think that this story couldn't get any better but it does. When the ambulance arrives, they check Grandpa and decide that he should indeed be taken to the hospital. As they're loading him in, the EMT turns to Grandma and says that she should get in, too, because she doesn't look well, either. She says that she has to take care of some stuff in the house before she goes so while Grandpa waits in pain in the ambulance, the EMT helps her turn off the gas, unplug all electrical appliances, throw away their dinner and put the dishes in the sink, get some clothes for her to change into and lock up the house. That EMT is a very patient man. Once they get to the hospital and Grandpa is checked and admitted, Grandma asks the nursing staff to call her a taxi so she can go home and they inform her that, unfortunately, that night is the night of the summer festival for their town so no taxis have been running since 6pm. She tries to call Chikara's parents, but they don't answer, so she sits on a stool beside Grandpa's bed until morning when the taxis are running again. She tried every hour to get ahold of my MIL but they didn't hear since their phone is on the 1st floor and they sleep (separately!) on the 2nd floor.
Honestly, *this* why we have been trying to encourage them to move closer and finally they understand the kind of predicament they can easily find themselves in and are willing to move quickly. They have opened up more about their financial state (good) and have given us more leeway in picking a place for them to live (very good). And so this is why Chikara's parents stopped by on a Tuesday night and consequently why the girls didn't get a bath. Sorry for the detour but I had to write that story.
Wednesday went a little bit better although I still had to go out and tell Sakura that she was *not* allowed to play with the water to which she answered with a surprised "Oh". And actually all day I would peek out the window and see them doing things I had just asked them not to do and everytime the ensuing conversations would go something like this:
Me: Hey, I thought I told you not to play with the umbrellas.
Misaki: But Sakura wanted to.
Me: Who is the big sister? You or Sakura?
Misaki: me...
Me: Then don't let her do stuff she's not supposed to do, okay?
Misaki: okay...
By Wednesday afternoon all the little girls in the neighborhood had figured that our house was the place to be and when I went to call my daughters for dinner, there were 9 girls playing in the entrance to our house. 9 girls. They didn't even really fit but it didn't seem to bother anyone. Emi was enjoying hosting everyone and calling out orders from the stairs (I'm assuming so that she could be taller than everyone) and everyone seemed genuinely sad when it was time to go home.
Today one of the neighbor girls brought corn when she came to play. I'm guessing her mother made it this morning to say thank you for letting her play all day the day before. It was still warm and I was so excited because I hadn't been able to decide what I was going to make for lunch and here the answer was provided. I added some rice and some teriyaki meatballs and we were all set. I was also excited because that meant I was done with cooking for the rest of the day since Chikara's parents usually come and get the kids every Thursday night. Even though they were going to see Chikara's grandparents during the day, they said that they still wanted to come and get the girls. By 5pm, I hadn't heard from them and I had a sinking feeling that they weren't coming so I started to think of something to make for dinner. By 6pm, I hadn't received any answer to my text messages so I went ahead and made spaghetti. The girls were so worn out from the day that they didn't put together that eating dinner at home meant they weren't going out with their grandparents.
They appeared around 7:45pm without an apology and then went on to exasperate Chikara with their lack of a plan of any kind regarding the next couple of weeks until Grandpa goes home from the hospital. Chikara is an only child so throughout my in-law's whole married life they could just do what they want when they wanted to so they totally do not understand that with four kids we need a little bit of advanced warning if they want something from us.
So that has been the first part of our week. I also went and saw Die Hard 4 by myself last night. Chikara went and saw it last week with his work buddies and for some reason I really wanted to see it. Wednesday is Ladies Day so it only cost me 1000 yen ($10) but as I sat down I realized that I have never been to a theatre by myself. I was a very odd feeling but once the movie started, I forgot that I was alone and really enjoyed myself.
Also, recently a friend and I did a book exchange of sorts and, among other things, lent me a few Jane Austen books which then made me want to see the movies but I was unable to rent Emma (with Gwyneth Paltrow) which was a little bit sad. I found it on Amazon and then while I was searching, I also found that they are selling the complete seasons of Little House On The Prairie. I'm tempted to save my pennies and buy them over the next few years and watch them with my girls. Even Chikara remembers watching Little House on TV when he was younger.
Now I'm just sharing random stuff, although it feels good to get it off my chest. One thing about summer vacation is that I'm stuck in the house, but the schedule is working and the rules are starting to have their desired effect. I think we will survive.
Tuesday morning, however, brought the mayhem. As Emi went out the door at 9:15, I went downstairs with Misaki and Sakura to show them the play area. I gave them my usual speech about the rules to which they agreed most solemnly and as I went back up the stairs I gave myself a pat on the back for having the foresight to make such a schedule. I *am* so clever!
Just five minutes later my peace was broken with a request for bubbles. Sure. I had bought a whole litre of bubbles last month at Toys R Us for just this occasion. I went downstairs and poured the bubble solution into little reusable bubble containers and handed them to the girls along with the blowing wands. I cautioned them to be careful and not spill it right away (one of my pet peeves) and then put the cap back on the big bottle and put it away in the closet. I returned to the living room and continued drinking my coffee while catching up on the news and watching Natsuki. After a bit, I realized that it was quiet. Too quiet. Chikara took a peek out the window and said, with some alarm, that the girls were playing with the water and had a big bottle of bubbles beside them. Crap. I put Natsuki down for her morning nap and went down to see what they were up to. Unbelievably, they had found the big bottle of bubbles and had poured the ENTIRE BOTTLE into the little box where our outside water faucet is kept. Seriously, a whole litre of bubbles down the drain. I'm not sure what they were thinking and actually, this is the problem with the two of them. They don't try to do wrong things, they're not mischievous like that, but they don't think ahead about the consequences of their actions.
I stood for a whole 10 seconds trying to decide what to do. On the one hand, I don't want a repeat of this every day for the whole summer so some decisive action needs to be taken but also the two of them are not used to being unsupervised so how much responsibility needs to put on them for their actions. I sent the two of them inside of the house to wait for me while I cleaned the bubbles off of the asphalt with water from the hose. They were soaking wet so we took off all their clothes in the laundry room and I sent Sakura upstairs so I could talk to Misaki. She knew that she had disobeyed me so I told her what she had done and why it was wrong and then gave her a spanking. I held her while she cried and then we talked together about not doing the same thing again, I gave her a hug and told her I loved her and then we went upstairs to put some clean clothes on. Once we were upstairs I had a talk with Sakura, too, but it was more of a stern warning since she's never been in this type of situation before.
Yes, we spank our kids. It's the third step in our discipline process and we don't use it more than once a month on any of the kids. First we give a warning and if the offense is repeated, a time-out or loss of privilege is applied but if the behavior is repeated then we do, with as much love as we possess, give a spanking. We find that because they know that we will not hesitate to spank them that their behavior is usually changed before we get that far. Both my husband and I were spanked as children and have never felt oppressed or abused but actually appreciate that our parents taught us the pain that comes with disobedience in a safe and loving environment before we were adults and thrown into the harsh realities of life.
So why, if spanking is the third step, did I do it right away? Because I have had this conversation with Emi and Misaki many times before she has already had her warnings and time-outs many times throughout the last two years and since she's 5, she needs to remember the rules previously learned. Anyways, after the two of them calmed down, I sent them outside again with a few more rules and they played without incident until Emi came home around 11:30. I went to the store during this time and bought groceries and all the things that make a household run smoothly. I bought some peanut butter sandwiches for the girls for lunch since I was going to have to get ready for my English class and Chikara was still busy working at the kitchen table. The girls started to wander in while I was putting the groceries away and soon I was able to set out their lunch for them. I was taking care of Natsuki while the girls were eating their lunch so I wasn't necessarily watching them when suddenly Emi yelled out, "Misaki!". I turned to look at Misaki and she quickly hid her hands behind her back. I told her to show me her hands and when she did, I couldn't believe it. She had scraped all the peanut butter off of her sandwich with her fingers and each finger had a big ball of peanut butter stuck to the end of it. I was so mad, I actually had to stop and count to ten. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. It helped a little bit. Again, playing with her food is something that we've been working on with Misaki. So, we had another conversation and another spanking because that kind of behavior is totally unacceptable. Wow, two spankings in one day has got to be some kind of record for our family. At this point, I decided it would be a good idea for Misaki to take a nap during the afternoon while I was gone to teach English.
By the time I returned from teaching English, the girls had had quite a long day and were pretty worn out. Usually Chikara gives them a bath but his parents had asked if they could stop by to talk about my MIL's parents. Grandpa had an ulcer flare up over the weekend and he had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance. They live almost two hours away from where we and my in-laws live and they have been talking of moving closer so that we would be able to help them for emergencies just like this. Unfortunately Grandma is a very picky woman who has an OCD-like affinity for cleanliness.
For example, if you go to use the toilet in her house there are slippers outside the bathroom door to use that have tissue stuffed in them. Once you step into the bathroom there are two parts, a sink room and then the toilet room beside it. The floor of the sink room is covered with newspaper and then when you step into the toilet room, there is a different pair of slippers also stuffed with tissue and then newspaper all over the floor of that room. They had a Japanese-style toilet that is set up about a foot and a half off the floor and you're supposed so take off your slippers and step-up and then squat over the toilet. There, and this is the clincher, she has placed a neat pile of about 10 pieces of tissue right at the place where you're supposed to put your feet while using the toilet. This type of stuff is repeated all over the house so you can imagine how much energy it takes to do all of this. Grandma has been suffering from a problem with her back and so Grandpa has been in charge of taking care of these types of things since he retired 5 years ago. I'm sure not a day goes by that he doesn't wish that he hadn't retired. The stress of taking care of Grandma and being with her in the house all day has really taken a toll on his health and recently he has aged visibly so we weren't very surprised that something like this happened.
The evening that Grandpa's ulcer started giving him problems, there was something spicy mixed in with his food and while he was eating, there was a sudden pain and he clutched his stomach and fell to the floor. Grandma ran to get the phone and call the hospital but no one answered so she called her only child, and only possible help, my MIL, and there was no answer, so Grandpa told her to call for an ambulance and she asked him how to do that. Mind you, he's an 80-something-year old man with a severe pain in his stomach laying on the floor and he had to guide her through all of this. 1-1-9, dial 1-1-9 (our 9-1-1). So she calls and first apologizes for calling and then explains what has happened to them.
You would think that this story couldn't get any better but it does. When the ambulance arrives, they check Grandpa and decide that he should indeed be taken to the hospital. As they're loading him in, the EMT turns to Grandma and says that she should get in, too, because she doesn't look well, either. She says that she has to take care of some stuff in the house before she goes so while Grandpa waits in pain in the ambulance, the EMT helps her turn off the gas, unplug all electrical appliances, throw away their dinner and put the dishes in the sink, get some clothes for her to change into and lock up the house. That EMT is a very patient man. Once they get to the hospital and Grandpa is checked and admitted, Grandma asks the nursing staff to call her a taxi so she can go home and they inform her that, unfortunately, that night is the night of the summer festival for their town so no taxis have been running since 6pm. She tries to call Chikara's parents, but they don't answer, so she sits on a stool beside Grandpa's bed until morning when the taxis are running again. She tried every hour to get ahold of my MIL but they didn't hear since their phone is on the 1st floor and they sleep (separately!) on the 2nd floor.
Honestly, *this* why we have been trying to encourage them to move closer and finally they understand the kind of predicament they can easily find themselves in and are willing to move quickly. They have opened up more about their financial state (good) and have given us more leeway in picking a place for them to live (very good). And so this is why Chikara's parents stopped by on a Tuesday night and consequently why the girls didn't get a bath. Sorry for the detour but I had to write that story.
Wednesday went a little bit better although I still had to go out and tell Sakura that she was *not* allowed to play with the water to which she answered with a surprised "Oh". And actually all day I would peek out the window and see them doing things I had just asked them not to do and everytime the ensuing conversations would go something like this:
Me: Hey, I thought I told you not to play with the umbrellas.
Misaki: But Sakura wanted to.
Me: Who is the big sister? You or Sakura?
Misaki: me...
Me: Then don't let her do stuff she's not supposed to do, okay?
Misaki: okay...
By Wednesday afternoon all the little girls in the neighborhood had figured that our house was the place to be and when I went to call my daughters for dinner, there were 9 girls playing in the entrance to our house. 9 girls. They didn't even really fit but it didn't seem to bother anyone. Emi was enjoying hosting everyone and calling out orders from the stairs (I'm assuming so that she could be taller than everyone) and everyone seemed genuinely sad when it was time to go home.
Today one of the neighbor girls brought corn when she came to play. I'm guessing her mother made it this morning to say thank you for letting her play all day the day before. It was still warm and I was so excited because I hadn't been able to decide what I was going to make for lunch and here the answer was provided. I added some rice and some teriyaki meatballs and we were all set. I was also excited because that meant I was done with cooking for the rest of the day since Chikara's parents usually come and get the kids every Thursday night. Even though they were going to see Chikara's grandparents during the day, they said that they still wanted to come and get the girls. By 5pm, I hadn't heard from them and I had a sinking feeling that they weren't coming so I started to think of something to make for dinner. By 6pm, I hadn't received any answer to my text messages so I went ahead and made spaghetti. The girls were so worn out from the day that they didn't put together that eating dinner at home meant they weren't going out with their grandparents.
They appeared around 7:45pm without an apology and then went on to exasperate Chikara with their lack of a plan of any kind regarding the next couple of weeks until Grandpa goes home from the hospital. Chikara is an only child so throughout my in-law's whole married life they could just do what they want when they wanted to so they totally do not understand that with four kids we need a little bit of advanced warning if they want something from us.
So that has been the first part of our week. I also went and saw Die Hard 4 by myself last night. Chikara went and saw it last week with his work buddies and for some reason I really wanted to see it. Wednesday is Ladies Day so it only cost me 1000 yen ($10) but as I sat down I realized that I have never been to a theatre by myself. I was a very odd feeling but once the movie started, I forgot that I was alone and really enjoyed myself.
Also, recently a friend and I did a book exchange of sorts and, among other things, lent me a few Jane Austen books which then made me want to see the movies but I was unable to rent Emma (with Gwyneth Paltrow) which was a little bit sad. I found it on Amazon and then while I was searching, I also found that they are selling the complete seasons of Little House On The Prairie. I'm tempted to save my pennies and buy them over the next few years and watch them with my girls. Even Chikara remembers watching Little House on TV when he was younger.
Now I'm just sharing random stuff, although it feels good to get it off my chest. One thing about summer vacation is that I'm stuck in the house, but the schedule is working and the rules are starting to have their desired effect. I think we will survive.
Monday, April 09, 2007
what can I say...
Well, we survived the weekend. I can honestly say that as a family we've never been this busy before.
After all the pressure I felt when buying Emi's school supplies last week, part of me (albeit a small part) didn't really want to go to the Nyugakushiki or even send Emi to elementary school at all. Like if I didn't go, then it wouldn't happen. There has been so much talk on the news of bullying at school (ijime) and everyone knows that there is so much pressure on kids in Japan to perform well in school. I really want the best for my kids and because I wasn't raised here I really have no idea what that would be.
Also, sending Emi to elementary school means that I will be stretched a little bit more with my organization and my Japanese and I feel like I've had enough of that. But time marches on and my experience in the past is that it's just better to accept what's coming and find a way to make things smooth and fun for my family (and me!).
Now that I have prefaced this post with all of my concerns, I can say that all (well, maybe most) of my concerns were swept away at the Nyugakushiki. Everything was perfect, even the weather. The sakura trees were in full bloom, we all had the proper attire, we were ready on time (a small miracle) and Emi was really excited. Chikara had worked all morning and when were ready to go, he still needed to get ready, but that worked out perfectly because Natsuki was able to take a little nap and then Chikara brought her when he was ready. Even with only 45 min. of sleep, instead of the usual 2 hrs, she is a much happier baby.
When we got to the school, we received the class list and I was relieved to see that my neighbor's son is in the same class as Emi. She was very helpful with preschool stuff and I had prayed that they would be in the same class. Then as we were taking off our shoes to go in, a lady spied us and said "Yokatta" (Yeah!). I wasn't sure what she was talking about but it turns out that her daughter (who went to the same preschool) had been hoping all Spring Break that she would be in the same class as Emi and the mom was relieved that it had worked out. Even after these first five minutes, I was already encouraged.
We went in and checked her name off and a 6th grader took Emi off to her class and we (me, my MIL, Sakura and Misaki) went into the gymnasium. We were one of the first and we found a seat near where Emi would be seated. The lady who spoken to me when we first came in was beside us and we chatted for a little bit. The gym started to fill up and Chikara came with Natsuki and I started to wonder how Emi was doing and how long the ceremony would be. The chairs in the gym were set up in a square with a big open part in the middle. The 1st graders would sit facing the 6th graders and then perpendicular to that parents and teachers sat on both sides.
Then the ceremony started and the three 1st grade classes marched in 2 by 2 holding hands. They looked so small compared to all the 6th graders and adults. Since our name starts with I, in the Japanese alphabet it comes near the beginning, so Emi was sitting in the front row. Unfortunately, it was about this time my camera battery died. The principal and local community leader spoke for a bit and different 6th graders made certain announcements throughout. Then the 2nd graders came in and sang a few songs and did a little speech about all the fun the 1st graders would have throughout the year. Then they announced the teachers for each of the classes and when they announced the teacher for Emi's class, all the 6th graders whooped and yelled. At the time, we had no idea why. The ceremony went on for about an hour (not too long) and then as the 1st graders paraded out, the 6th graders played a song on recorders. It was all very sweet.
Each class went outside and took a class picture and then proceeded, with all the parents in tow, to their classroom. The teacher spoke to the kids for a bit. He introduced himself and used different things to help the kids remember his name. For example, part of his name is "bara" so he brought out a rose, which is "bara" in Japanese, so the kids would be able to remember by association. Chikara was totally impressed. I've mentioned before that he didn't really have a good elementary school experience but he was immediately taken with this teacher who was so nice to the kids. Last year this teacher taught 5th grade and it seems he was well liked since all the 6th graders screamed when his name was called. Then the teacher spoke to the parents for a bit. I don't really remember what he said, which shows how low my memory retention has become. But we were really encouraged after meeting the teacher and being able to see a little bit about what Emi would be experiencing this year.
The whole thing was over within 2 hours which has to be a record for any ceremony I've been to in Japan. We went outside and our very patient neighbors took pictures of us with their camera beside the sign that said "Congratulations" and the sakura trees. Emi really enjoyed herself and knew many of the kids that were in her class and both Chikara and I were reassured about the choices we have made for our kids.
Even though there were still things to do, we went out to lunch. When we got back, Chikara took his mom back home and went to work. As he was leaving, I was trying to change Natsuki's diaper so I could put her down for a nap. When I was in the middle of that, something happened with Sakura, and I turned away without putting Natsuki's new diaper on. When I turned back to her, she was peeing all over the couch and the older three girls were yelling about something. All the stress I had been feeling bubbled over and I yelled at the older three to be quiet. I finished Natsuki's diaper and put her down, took the soaked sofa cushion outside and told the girls to give me a few minutes. I hate it when I yell at the kids, even when it is necessary, especially after they were so well-behaved throughout the whole morning. Sigh...
Saturday, again, was spent keeping the kids on course, but Saturday night I pulled out the Easter candy I bought last month and put little chocolate eggs in little plastic eggs and then hid them around the living room. On Sunday morning, the girls searched for the eggs and I have to say that although they were excited about finding the eggs so they could eat the chocolate, they were a little lame at actually *searching* for the eggs. They would take turns meandering around and then looking at me and saying "I don't know were they are". Duh, of course you don't know, that's why you're supposed to search. Sigh. Maybe next year will be better. They were really excited about the chocolate so I let them eat two eggs worth of chocolate.
In the midst of the ensuing sugar rush, we got ready and went to church. Chikara and I, along with some other members of the music team, sang "How Great Is Our God" by Chris Tomlin, translated into Japanese by Chikara, as a special song and Chikara was leading worship so we had to be there early. Chikara was in a rush and on the way to church, I asked him, as a joke, if I could stop at the convenience store. He was not amused! The service was great and after lunch, the children's church workers had an Easter Egg Hunt for all the kids of the church and their friends. After they found eggs, they colored and decorated them. At one point, Emi put her fingers in the bowl of pink dye and her fingers were stained pink.
At around 5, we left church and called Chikara's parents since we were supposed to have dinner them for my MIL's birthday. I had realized at church that I hadn't bought new sneakers for the girls for school so we stopped at the mall to get some. During this time I started to feel sick. I asked Chikara if we could postpone mom's birthday but he didn't think it was a good idea. After we bought the shoes and proceeded to the restaurant, I started to feel more sick. I tried my best to enjoy the evening, but I could hardly eat. Natsuki was being difficult since she hadn't eaten very well all day. I used her as an excuse and went out to the car to nurse her.
We all went back to our house, even though it was a complete mess, to have cake and coffee. Yes, I gave the girls cake right before bed, even though it was late and Emi & Misaki had a big day the next morning. There was no other choice. At the earliest opportunity they were down to sleep and we spent a little more time talking with Chikara's parents. Once they left, I realized that I had a fever and I was not doing well. My husband spent the next few hours making sure all of the girls things were ready for the next day. He spent most of that time writing Emi's name on her school supplies.
One thing that I learned from this process is that at elementary school, the kids need to bring different things to school and back home each day. Perfect. One more thing to keep track of. Fortunately they write everything in hiragana which Emi can read so my goal will be to get her to a point where she can organize her things by herself without too much help from me. There is so much stuff that we'll have to prepare a place for her to keep the stuff she doesn't need to take. At preschool we have the same type of program, but each week is pretty much the same so once you get the hang of it, it's easy to remember. Seems like elementary school is not the same.
Now we're up to today when we'll see if all the preparation we've done is enough. We woke up just after seven to get Emi up and ready on time, but she was already awake, of course. She changed into the clothes she had picked out the night before and had breakfast. Chikara took her at 7:45 to the meeting spot for our neighborhood. All the kids and parents of the 1st graders walked to the school together. We have to take her to school and pick her up for the first three days and then after that she will go to school with all the neighborhood kids and then come home with any kids who are done with school when she is. I am thankful that our school is close. Some 1st graders take a train *by themselves* to go to school and come back home. I don't think I could handle that.
At 8, we woke up Misaki and Sakura. Misaki got ready for school. Her bus comes around 9 so she will have a nice relaxed morning all year, which will be good for her temperament. She's not a morning person! While Misaki was getting ready, Sakura kept saying "I'm going to elementary school". She was very disappointed when only Misaki and I went out the door. After coming back home, I was exhausted. Natsuki, who hadn't eaten very well on Sunday, woke up at 2:30am, so I woke up and nursed her, and then again at 6:30am, when I ignored her until 7:00. Also I was still not feeling well so I went back to sleep for awhile. Natsuki was already back in bed for her morning nap so Chikara only had to watch Sakura.
When Emi came home, she willing shared about her day. They learned aisatsu (greetings), which was mentioned at the Nyugakushiki at least 5 times along with signs everywhere saying "Let's Do Greetings Happily", where the bathrooms are and about where all their stuff goes. I was relieved to hear the girl beside her and the girl in front of her had the exact same pencils. She really enjoyed herself. Misaki also had a good day. She has a new teacher who's name is also Misaki, which she thought was cool.
I think the climax of the weekend for me was tonight. The older three girls were already in bed and I had sent Chikara off, too. I had just finished nursing Natsuki and changing her diaper to get her ready for bed. As I stood up to burp her, she started choking on some phlegm (she's had a cold) and suddenly she threw up all over me. I was silent for a moment and then I laughed out loud because it was so typical of the youngest child to have the last say. Chikara had to come down and hold her while I mopped everything up. I hope she sleeps well tonight!
Other than that debacle, it seems like all of our hard work has paid off. For me, it's been quite an emotional ride, which is probably why I've been sick sometimes. Fortunately, the girls have a very positive attitude towards school so their enthusiasm pushes us along. As a mom, it's hard to watch my kids grow up and move on without me. It's what we've been working towards but when it actually happens, it is an emotional time.
A new step has been taken by our family and it will be fun to see where it takes us. I know this was long, so thank you for reading to the end!
After all the pressure I felt when buying Emi's school supplies last week, part of me (albeit a small part) didn't really want to go to the Nyugakushiki or even send Emi to elementary school at all. Like if I didn't go, then it wouldn't happen. There has been so much talk on the news of bullying at school (ijime) and everyone knows that there is so much pressure on kids in Japan to perform well in school. I really want the best for my kids and because I wasn't raised here I really have no idea what that would be.
Also, sending Emi to elementary school means that I will be stretched a little bit more with my organization and my Japanese and I feel like I've had enough of that. But time marches on and my experience in the past is that it's just better to accept what's coming and find a way to make things smooth and fun for my family (and me!).
Now that I have prefaced this post with all of my concerns, I can say that all (well, maybe most) of my concerns were swept away at the Nyugakushiki. Everything was perfect, even the weather. The sakura trees were in full bloom, we all had the proper attire, we were ready on time (a small miracle) and Emi was really excited. Chikara had worked all morning and when were ready to go, he still needed to get ready, but that worked out perfectly because Natsuki was able to take a little nap and then Chikara brought her when he was ready. Even with only 45 min. of sleep, instead of the usual 2 hrs, she is a much happier baby.When we got to the school, we received the class list and I was relieved to see that my neighbor's son is in the same class as Emi. She was very helpful with preschool stuff and I had prayed that they would be in the same class. Then as we were taking off our shoes to go in, a lady spied us and said "Yokatta" (Yeah!). I wasn't sure what she was talking about but it turns out that her daughter (who went to the same preschool) had been hoping all Spring Break that she would be in the same class as Emi and the mom was relieved that it had worked out. Even after these first five minutes, I was already encouraged.
We went in and checked her name off and a 6th grader took Emi off to her class and we (me, my MIL, Sakura and Misaki) went into the gymnasium. We were one of the first and we found a seat near where Emi would be seated. The lady who spoken to me when we first came in was beside us and we chatted for a little bit. The gym started to fill up and Chikara came with Natsuki and I started to wonder how Emi was doing and how long the ceremony would be. The chairs in the gym were set up in a square with a big open part in the middle. The 1st graders would sit facing the 6th graders and then perpendicular to that parents and teachers sat on both sides.
Then the ceremony started and the three 1st grade classes marched in 2 by 2 holding hands. They looked so small compared to all the 6th graders and adults. Since our name starts with I, in the Japanese alphabet it comes near the beginning, so Emi was sitting in the front row. Unfortunately, it was about this time my camera battery died. The principal and local community leader spoke for a bit and different 6th graders made certain announcements throughout. Then the 2nd graders came in and sang a few songs and did a little speech about all the fun the 1st graders would have throughout the year. Then they announced the teachers for each of the classes and when they announced the teacher for Emi's class, all the 6th graders whooped and yelled. At the time, we had no idea why. The ceremony went on for about an hour (not too long) and then as the 1st graders paraded out, the 6th graders played a song on recorders. It was all very sweet.Each class went outside and took a class picture and then proceeded, with all the parents in tow, to their classroom. The teacher spoke to the kids for a bit. He introduced himself and used different things to help the kids remember his name. For example, part of his name is "bara" so he brought out a rose, which is "bara" in Japanese, so the kids would be able to remember by association. Chikara was totally impressed. I've mentioned before that he didn't really have a good elementary school experience but he was immediately taken with this teacher who was so nice to the kids. Last year this teacher taught 5th grade and it seems he was well liked since all the 6th graders screamed when his name was called. Then the teacher spoke to the parents for a bit. I don't really remember what he said, which shows how low my memory retention has become. But we were really encouraged after meeting the teacher and being able to see a little bit about what Emi would be experiencing this year.
The whole thing was over within 2 hours which has to be a record for any ceremony I've been to in Japan. We went outside and our very patient neighbors took pictures of us with their camera beside the sign that said "Congratulations" and the sakura trees. Emi really enjoyed herself and knew many of the kids that were in her class and both Chikara and I were reassured about the choices we have made for our kids.
Even though there were still things to do, we went out to lunch. When we got back, Chikara took his mom back home and went to work. As he was leaving, I was trying to change Natsuki's diaper so I could put her down for a nap. When I was in the middle of that, something happened with Sakura, and I turned away without putting Natsuki's new diaper on. When I turned back to her, she was peeing all over the couch and the older three girls were yelling about something. All the stress I had been feeling bubbled over and I yelled at the older three to be quiet. I finished Natsuki's diaper and put her down, took the soaked sofa cushion outside and told the girls to give me a few minutes. I hate it when I yell at the kids, even when it is necessary, especially after they were so well-behaved throughout the whole morning. Sigh...
Saturday, again, was spent keeping the kids on course, but Saturday night I pulled out the Easter candy I bought last month and put little chocolate eggs in little plastic eggs and then hid them around the living room. On Sunday morning, the girls searched for the eggs and I have to say that although they were excited about finding the eggs so they could eat the chocolate, they were a little lame at actually *searching* for the eggs. They would take turns meandering around and then looking at me and saying "I don't know were they are". Duh, of course you don't know, that's why you're supposed to search. Sigh. Maybe next year will be better. They were really excited about the chocolate so I let them eat two eggs worth of chocolate.In the midst of the ensuing sugar rush, we got ready and went to church. Chikara and I, along with some other members of the music team, sang "How Great Is Our God" by Chris Tomlin, translated into Japanese by Chikara, as a special song and Chikara was leading worship so we had to be there early. Chikara was in a rush and on the way to church, I asked him, as a joke, if I could stop at the convenience store. He was not amused! The service was great and after lunch, the children's church workers had an Easter Egg Hunt for all the kids of the church and their friends. After they found eggs, they colored and decorated them. At one point, Emi put her fingers in the bowl of pink dye and her fingers were stained pink.
At around 5, we left church and called Chikara's parents since we were supposed to have dinner them for my MIL's birthday. I had realized at church that I hadn't bought new sneakers for the girls for school so we stopped at the mall to get some. During this time I started to feel sick. I asked Chikara if we could postpone mom's birthday but he didn't think it was a good idea. After we bought the shoes and proceeded to the restaurant, I started to feel more sick. I tried my best to enjoy the evening, but I could hardly eat. Natsuki was being difficult since she hadn't eaten very well all day. I used her as an excuse and went out to the car to nurse her.
We all went back to our house, even though it was a complete mess, to have cake and coffee. Yes, I gave the girls cake right before bed, even though it was late and Emi & Misaki had a big day the next morning. There was no other choice. At the earliest opportunity they were down to sleep and we spent a little more time talking with Chikara's parents. Once they left, I realized that I had a fever and I was not doing well. My husband spent the next few hours making sure all of the girls things were ready for the next day. He spent most of that time writing Emi's name on her school supplies.
One thing that I learned from this process is that at elementary school, the kids need to bring different things to school and back home each day. Perfect. One more thing to keep track of. Fortunately they write everything in hiragana which Emi can read so my goal will be to get her to a point where she can organize her things by herself without too much help from me. There is so much stuff that we'll have to prepare a place for her to keep the stuff she doesn't need to take. At preschool we have the same type of program, but each week is pretty much the same so once you get the hang of it, it's easy to remember. Seems like elementary school is not the same.
Now we're up to today when we'll see if all the preparation we've done is enough. We woke up just after seven to get Emi up and ready on time, but she was already awake, of course. She changed into the clothes she had picked out the night before and had breakfast. Chikara took her at 7:45 to the meeting spot for our neighborhood. All the kids and parents of the 1st graders walked to the school together. We have to take her to school and pick her up for the first three days and then after that she will go to school with all the neighborhood kids and then come home with any kids who are done with school when she is. I am thankful that our school is close. Some 1st graders take a train *by themselves* to go to school and come back home. I don't think I could handle that.At 8, we woke up Misaki and Sakura. Misaki got ready for school. Her bus comes around 9 so she will have a nice relaxed morning all year, which will be good for her temperament. She's not a morning person! While Misaki was getting ready, Sakura kept saying "I'm going to elementary school". She was very disappointed when only Misaki and I went out the door. After coming back home, I was exhausted. Natsuki, who hadn't eaten very well on Sunday, woke up at 2:30am, so I woke up and nursed her, and then again at 6:30am, when I ignored her until 7:00. Also I was still not feeling well so I went back to sleep for awhile. Natsuki was already back in bed for her morning nap so Chikara only had to watch Sakura.
When Emi came home, she willing shared about her day. They learned aisatsu (greetings), which was mentioned at the Nyugakushiki at least 5 times along with signs everywhere saying "Let's Do Greetings Happily", where the bathrooms are and about where all their stuff goes. I was relieved to hear the girl beside her and the girl in front of her had the exact same pencils. She really enjoyed herself. Misaki also had a good day. She has a new teacher who's name is also Misaki, which she thought was cool.
I think the climax of the weekend for me was tonight. The older three girls were already in bed and I had sent Chikara off, too. I had just finished nursing Natsuki and changing her diaper to get her ready for bed. As I stood up to burp her, she started choking on some phlegm (she's had a cold) and suddenly she threw up all over me. I was silent for a moment and then I laughed out loud because it was so typical of the youngest child to have the last say. Chikara had to come down and hold her while I mopped everything up. I hope she sleeps well tonight!
Other than that debacle, it seems like all of our hard work has paid off. For me, it's been quite an emotional ride, which is probably why I've been sick sometimes. Fortunately, the girls have a very positive attitude towards school so their enthusiasm pushes us along. As a mom, it's hard to watch my kids grow up and move on without me. It's what we've been working towards but when it actually happens, it is an emotional time.
A new step has been taken by our family and it will be fun to see where it takes us. I know this was long, so thank you for reading to the end!
Friday, March 16, 2007
a few comments
My MIL went shopping with Emi to get the ceremony dress and wouldn't you know it she got a different one. Classic. I'm not really sure what to do about it. Generally we don't return stuff in Japan and my MIL will be at the ceremony so she'll know if I got a different one (although she's not that observant so I probably could get away with it). I don't really like the dress she chose although it might not be her fault because Emi said she couldn't find the one we looked at before. I knew I should've gone shopping with them...
But I would like to say thanks to those who commented and gave advice regarding this issue. I know that sometimes I'm too practical and I have a hard time giving control to people who like things fancy. I'm working on that. Last year when I went home to Canada, my sister took me shopping for make-up. She knows me really well but I was nervous about what I would end up with. I'm glad I let her choose because I get comments on my make-up all the time. Thanks, Hannah!
I also really enjoyed reading the results of the personality test that some of you posted or e-mailed. I find those types of tests to be fascinating and I enjoyed getting to know more about you.
Kim, you were wondering about the sakura blossoms. I don't think they grow actual cherries, they're just ornamental. But they are so beautiful. It's kind of like when it snows and everything is white and beautiful. Suddenly everywhere you look there are these delicate pink or white blossoms. When we drive in the car the girls yell out "SAKURA, SAKURA!!" whenever they see them. Here are some links to see what I'm talking about (you'll have to scroll down a bit).
Sakura trees during the day
Sakura trees at dusk
Lastly, I wanted to comment about how much I appreciate those of you who read this blog and comment. I originally started this blog as an outlet for me and to use my English more but I've been surprised by the new friends I've made through sharing about my life and reading yours. Thank you for making this such a fun experience.
But I would like to say thanks to those who commented and gave advice regarding this issue. I know that sometimes I'm too practical and I have a hard time giving control to people who like things fancy. I'm working on that. Last year when I went home to Canada, my sister took me shopping for make-up. She knows me really well but I was nervous about what I would end up with. I'm glad I let her choose because I get comments on my make-up all the time. Thanks, Hannah!
I also really enjoyed reading the results of the personality test that some of you posted or e-mailed. I find those types of tests to be fascinating and I enjoyed getting to know more about you.
Kim, you were wondering about the sakura blossoms. I don't think they grow actual cherries, they're just ornamental. But they are so beautiful. It's kind of like when it snows and everything is white and beautiful. Suddenly everywhere you look there are these delicate pink or white blossoms. When we drive in the car the girls yell out "SAKURA, SAKURA!!" whenever they see them. Here are some links to see what I'm talking about (you'll have to scroll down a bit).
Sakura trees during the day
Sakura trees at dusk
Lastly, I wanted to comment about how much I appreciate those of you who read this blog and comment. I originally started this blog as an outlet for me and to use my English more but I've been surprised by the new friends I've made through sharing about my life and reading yours. Thank you for making this such a fun experience.
Monday, March 05, 2007
so we went and looked at the dresses...
Thank you all for your comments on the post about my mother-in-law. I still wasn't sure what I was going to do about it all but last night some friends of ours came over for dinner and during the course of our conversation I had an epiphany of sorts. This couple had their first child one year ago and in the ongoing struggle between the wife and her in-laws (they were really mean - even at one time suggesting that if she came to visit she could sleep in the closet like Doraemon, ha ha ha - who says this stuff?) they haven't really let them come and visit this little boy. As I was relating how I've dealt with my in-laws I realized that I need to let my MIL buy something significant for Emi as she begins elementary school. It's really the right thing to do.
So today Emi and I went to look at the dresses. In the car on the way I explained what we were going to be shopping for and she said, "OK, but I don't want a skirt". As soon as she said this, I was glad I had decided to take her first and look around. Once she realized that everyone would be wearing dresses she agreed to try on a couple of outfits and we were able to pick one that she liked (still $80) so I'll tell my MIL on Thursday when she comes to get the girls that she can go ahead and buy that one for Emi. I'm debating whether I need to go along to make sure there's no confusion but I'll wait until Thursday to decide that.
Since we were there, we went over to look at the ceremony dresses for mommies, too. I still can't decide but one thing I know for sure is that I will not be wearing a silk-flower corsage!
So today Emi and I went to look at the dresses. In the car on the way I explained what we were going to be shopping for and she said, "OK, but I don't want a skirt". As soon as she said this, I was glad I had decided to take her first and look around. Once she realized that everyone would be wearing dresses she agreed to try on a couple of outfits and we were able to pick one that she liked (still $80) so I'll tell my MIL on Thursday when she comes to get the girls that she can go ahead and buy that one for Emi. I'm debating whether I need to go along to make sure there's no confusion but I'll wait until Thursday to decide that.
Since we were there, we went over to look at the ceremony dresses for mommies, too. I still can't decide but one thing I know for sure is that I will not be wearing a silk-flower corsage!
Friday, March 02, 2007
there's always another cultural difference to be explored
Emi is starting elementary school in April and we're all really excited but this event is also bringing out the cultural differences. I can't remember clearly what happened when I started elementary school (it was a really long time ago) but all I was really expecting was for people to be excited for her. I was wrong (I'm not getting more comfortable with saying this!).
Before I jump into how much my MIL is not getting what I'm trying to tell her I would like to tell you a story about the childhood of my husband and I. Both of us, for completely different reasons, were bad at completing homework. I was clever (or so I thought) and therefore felt I didn't need to do homework (this was always a mystery to my parents who both hold master's degrees) and my husband hated school and avoided homework at all costs (he still hates any form of paperwork). Both of us wish we had been more faithful because school would've been a better experience. So we decided a long time ago that our kids would do their homework at the kitchen table where we could monitor them and also be available to help them until they had created a good homework ethic or graduated from high school, whichever came first. This sounds good, right?
What I did not realize is that in Japan when kids start elementary school there are things that every "responsible" parent is supposed to buy and that grandparents like to help out financially in this area. Without trying I have inadvertently cause my MIL major frustration by telling her that we don't need these things.
The first is a randocel (sp?). Click here to see what I'm talking about (scroll down the page). This is the classic backpack that elementary kids use to go to school. It costs between $250 - $500 which seems crazy but the bag is very sturdy and in most cases kids can use the same bag for all 6 years of elementary school. The city of Settsu (where we live) decided many years ago that instead of the randocel they would issue a backpack (also pretty sturdy) to each child for free! When I found out I woo-hoo'ed but when I told my mother-in-law she was crestfallen because she was really looking forward to taking Emi to buy one. This wasn't really my fault so she got over it quickly and we were on to the next disappointment...
Then she asked what type of desk did Emi want. Desk? I'm not planning to buy her a desk. This comment was met with disbelief (crestfallen having already been used). No desk? What will she do her homework on? Uh, the kitchen table. I explained to her what we had decided and why and she was decidedly embaressed when I mentioned that Chikara wasn't good at doing homework, like I was blaming her for the fact that Emi was going to be deprived of the joy of having her own desk. Click here to see what type of desk "regular" kids get. Yes, you read the price tag right, 500 bucks! Also, we really don't have space to put it, I told her. So she started to look around my house for a good place to put a desk even though I had said WE ARE NOT GETTING ONE. (the yelling was in my head!)
With these two major purchases off the list of possible gifts for Emi, my MIL has moved onto smaller things like school supplies, etc. This is great, I would love help in this area, knock yourself out (although I said it nicer and in Japanese). I showed her the list and she went right out and bought about half the stuff and GAVE IT TO EMI TO USE RIGHT AWAY! So basically I'm going to have to buy it all again and save it for her to use at school. Sigh...
So now, like me, you would think that this crisis would be over but it seems that my MIL is very determined that Emi also be properly attired for her New School Ceremony and has asked (through Chikara this time - clever!) if she can buy Emi an outfit for the ceremony. An outfit? What is she talking about? My husband explained it to me and you can click here to see. Did you see those prices? Just put a dot before the last two zeroes. This outfit is just for the ceremony and it will never be used again. I kind of knew about this and that parents are supposed to dress up too. That means I have to buy one of these and I just don't know if I can do it. Hannah, what should I do? Expat moms?
So this is the latest in the seemingly-never-to-end struggle between my MIL and I regarding Emi's starting elementary school. Although it seems like there couldn't be much more to explore about this situation I have witnessed my MIL's "selective memory" in action before and I also know that the disbelief that I don't know How-Things-Are-Done will continually prompt her to "help" me. Woo-hoo!
Before I jump into how much my MIL is not getting what I'm trying to tell her I would like to tell you a story about the childhood of my husband and I. Both of us, for completely different reasons, were bad at completing homework. I was clever (or so I thought) and therefore felt I didn't need to do homework (this was always a mystery to my parents who both hold master's degrees) and my husband hated school and avoided homework at all costs (he still hates any form of paperwork). Both of us wish we had been more faithful because school would've been a better experience. So we decided a long time ago that our kids would do their homework at the kitchen table where we could monitor them and also be available to help them until they had created a good homework ethic or graduated from high school, whichever came first. This sounds good, right?
What I did not realize is that in Japan when kids start elementary school there are things that every "responsible" parent is supposed to buy and that grandparents like to help out financially in this area. Without trying I have inadvertently cause my MIL major frustration by telling her that we don't need these things.
The first is a randocel (sp?). Click here to see what I'm talking about (scroll down the page). This is the classic backpack that elementary kids use to go to school. It costs between $250 - $500 which seems crazy but the bag is very sturdy and in most cases kids can use the same bag for all 6 years of elementary school. The city of Settsu (where we live) decided many years ago that instead of the randocel they would issue a backpack (also pretty sturdy) to each child for free! When I found out I woo-hoo'ed but when I told my mother-in-law she was crestfallen because she was really looking forward to taking Emi to buy one. This wasn't really my fault so she got over it quickly and we were on to the next disappointment...
Then she asked what type of desk did Emi want. Desk? I'm not planning to buy her a desk. This comment was met with disbelief (crestfallen having already been used). No desk? What will she do her homework on? Uh, the kitchen table. I explained to her what we had decided and why and she was decidedly embaressed when I mentioned that Chikara wasn't good at doing homework, like I was blaming her for the fact that Emi was going to be deprived of the joy of having her own desk. Click here to see what type of desk "regular" kids get. Yes, you read the price tag right, 500 bucks! Also, we really don't have space to put it, I told her. So she started to look around my house for a good place to put a desk even though I had said WE ARE NOT GETTING ONE. (the yelling was in my head!)
With these two major purchases off the list of possible gifts for Emi, my MIL has moved onto smaller things like school supplies, etc. This is great, I would love help in this area, knock yourself out (although I said it nicer and in Japanese). I showed her the list and she went right out and bought about half the stuff and GAVE IT TO EMI TO USE RIGHT AWAY! So basically I'm going to have to buy it all again and save it for her to use at school. Sigh...
So now, like me, you would think that this crisis would be over but it seems that my MIL is very determined that Emi also be properly attired for her New School Ceremony and has asked (through Chikara this time - clever!) if she can buy Emi an outfit for the ceremony. An outfit? What is she talking about? My husband explained it to me and you can click here to see. Did you see those prices? Just put a dot before the last two zeroes. This outfit is just for the ceremony and it will never be used again. I kind of knew about this and that parents are supposed to dress up too. That means I have to buy one of these and I just don't know if I can do it. Hannah, what should I do? Expat moms?
So this is the latest in the seemingly-never-to-end struggle between my MIL and I regarding Emi's starting elementary school. Although it seems like there couldn't be much more to explore about this situation I have witnessed my MIL's "selective memory" in action before and I also know that the disbelief that I don't know How-Things-Are-Done will continually prompt her to "help" me. Woo-hoo!
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